


I Will Carry You

by TacoCat2020



Category: Olympics RPF, Swimming RPF
Genre: Character Death, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Drama, Major Illness, Miscarriage, Sexual Content, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tragedy, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:50:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 40,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3318035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TacoCat2020/pseuds/TacoCat2020
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Michael and Allison retired following the Olympic Games in Rio, they got married.  Michael is the new Assistant Coach of the NBAC Elite team.  Allison works at a college.  After a tragedy, Allison makes a major decision about her career.  Trials and tribulations threaten to tear them apart, but nothing could prepare them for the tragedy waiting just around the corner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Michael pulled his car into into the driveway, and put the car in park. He took a deep breath as he climbed out of the car. He grabbed the bag off of the front seat of the car. It was his night to take care of dinner, and since his kitchen skills left something to be desired, he had picked up some Chinese food on his way home from the pool.  


He stood back from the house for a moment. He looked up and smiled. He felt so thankful for everything that life had given him. He was grateful for all that his swimming career had given him. He was thankful for the support and love of his family. He had a beautiful wife. He and Allison had both retired shorty after the Rio Olympics, and got married not long after that. Despite retiring, he still spent much of his time at the pool. 

After retiring, he had become Bob’s assistant coach, working with the new generation of NBAC Elite swimmers. He laughed to himself as he recalled so many people asking him throughout his swimming career if he might one day want to coach. The answer to that was always an adamant “No!”. He didn’t want to end up coaching a kid like himself, he always said. But now, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Swimming had given him so much, and he was honored to be a part of making that happen for a new generation of talented athletes. When Bob presented him with the opportunity, he reluctantly said yes, and later realized that it had been one of the best decisions he had ever made. He also had been devoting more and more time to working with his foundation, and loved to visit with young swimmers and teach them about water safety. 

Allison’s career had gone in a completely different direction She had taken a position in the Career Counseling office at Towson University. She loved her students, and took great pride in helping them decide what they might want to do after graduation. 

Michael smiled as he opened the front door. After he and Allison got married, they purchased a house in the suburbs, just outside of Baltimore. He missed his old apartment in Fells Point, but he loved their new house, and he knew that it made Allison happy. She had said that their new home reminded her a lot of the house that she grew up in.

“Allie?”, Michael called, as he stepped into the foyer. “Where are you? Are you okay?” She hadn’t been feeling well lately, and Michael was concerned. He felt guilty that his meeting with Bob had run late, and that he wasn’t home early to make sure that Allison was okay.

“I’m upstairs!”, she called back.

“Okay!”, Michael called back. “I’ll be right up!” He went into the kitchen and put the bag of food on the counter. He put his wallet and keys on the side table by the back door. Then, he raced up the stairs and saw Allison pacing back and forth in the hallway. 

“Hi”, Allison said when he saw him. She was trying to sound cheerful, but Michael could tell that something was bothering her. 

He wound his long arm around her waist, and pulled her close to him. “Hi”, he whispered back, as he gently kissed her.  
“Did you have a good day?”, Allison asked him.

Michael nodded. “I did”, he said. “I had a really good day. The team is doing great. I even got a chance to get a workout in today.”

Allison smiled slightly. “Good”, she said, sounding a bit distracted. “That’s good.”

“I brought dinner home”, Michael said, trying to make conversation.

“Okay”, Allison said. “Cool.”

Allison’s distracted responses were setting Michael on edge. He was feeling a little bit nervous. He could tell that something was bothering her, and he didn’t know what to do to help her. “Honey?”, he asked, as he glanced down at the box in her hand. He noticed that it was a pregnancy test and he felt his stomach jump. “What’s going on, sweetie?”

Allison looked at the floor. “I think I might be pregnant”, she mumbled. “I’m a week late, and…”

Michael gestured towards the pregnancy test in Allison’s hand. “Did you…”, he began.

Allison shook her head. “No”, she said. “I wanted to wait until you came home. I didn’t want to find out if it was a yes or a no without you here.”

“Allie!”, Michael exclaimed. “Why didn’t you call me? I could have left early!”

Allison shook her head. “It’s not that big of a deal, Mike”, she said. “I didn’t want to interrupt your meeting.”

Michael leaned over, and kissed her gently. “Sweetheart”, he said. “You’re more important to me than anything or anyone else in the world. If you ever need me, you should call me. You know that I’ll drop anything for you.”

Allison smiled slightly. “I know”, she said. “but…”

Michael shook his head. “But nothing!”, he said. “Now, go pee on that stick!”

Allison rolled her eyes. “Yes sir!”, she replied, jokingly saluting him, and going into the bathroom. She closed the door behind her, leaving Michael standing in the hallway with his thoughts.

If Michael were to be honest with himself, he really wanted a kid. He had always enjoyed working with children, and couldn’t wait to have one or two of his own. He loved the life that he and Allison had built together, and was looking forward to building it even more. He paced back and forth up and down the upstairs hallway. He waited patiently for Allison to emerge with the news.

Allison sat on the edge of the bathtub in the upstairs bathroom, holding the test, and looking at her watch. She had another minute before finding out just how much their lives were about to change.

Michael had stopped pacing, and was now standing outside the door, leaning against the railing that looked down on their living room. “Sweetie, are you okay in there?” he called out quietly.

“Fine!” Allison called back cheerfully. She paused. “just another minute.” She closed her eyes. It was almost time. She sat silently for another moment. Her thoughts were interrupted when Michael knocked again.

Michael nerves were creeping up, a side effect of his ADHD. He didn’t want his own nervousness to make Allison even more nervous than she already was, but he wanted to know the answer. He lightly knocked on the bathroom door again. “Allie? Honey?”

Allison rose, and opened the door. She stood in the doorway and smiled sheepishly. “I haven’t looked at it yet”, she admitted, before Michael could ask anything.  
“Do you want me to look at it for you?” Michael asked gently, as he squeezed her shoulder.

“Let’s look at it together”, Allison said. She held up the test, and Michael leaned over to get a closer look. He rested his hand on the small of her back, and rested his chin on her shoulder.

They shared a glance. Michael’s smile spread across his face, that cute, warm smile of his that reaches his eyes and causes his whole face to crinkle. Allison looked at him and smiled back.

“It’s positive”, she said softly, as a smile spread across her lips.

Michael squeezed her shoulder again. “Oh, honey”, he said, giving her a kiss.

“This is a good thing, right?”, Allison asked.

Michael could hear the nervousness in her voice. He couldn’t help but feel a little nervous himself, but he was happy. Very happy. “Yes, honey”, he said gently. “This is a really good thing.”


	2. Chapter 2

On the morning of Mother’s Day, Michael woke up early. He opened his eyes and stretched. He rolled over on his side and saw Allison on the other side of the bed. She was sitting up and reading. 

“Allie, how long have you been awake, sweetie?”, Michael asked.

“A while”, Allison admitted. “Morning sickness.”

Michael leaned over and ran his fingers along her arms. “Are you okay?”, he asked gently.

Allison nodded. “Yeah”, she said. “I’m okay. I just want to rest for a little while longer. I want to be well-rested for dinner at your mom’s later.”

“Okay”, Michael agreed. “Are you sure you’re okay? We can skip it if you want. My mom will understand.”

Allison leaned over and kissed Michael on the cheek. “Mike, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry, and Debs will kill you if you skip mother’s day dinner.”

Michael laughed. “That’s probably true”, he agreed. “Do you want to tell her today?”

Allison nodded. “I do”, she said. “and I have a great idea about how to do it too! Right now, I just want to rest.”

“Okay”, Michael said, as he stood up, and began to get ready for the day. He slipped into a pair of jogging pants, and pulled an old t-shirt over his head. “I’m going to go for a run, but I’ll be back.”

Allison smiled. “Go!”, she said with a laugh. “Get out of here.”

“Feel better, babe”, Michael said. He leaned over and gave her another kiss on the cheek. He went downstairs and out the door. He went for a run around the neighborhood while he collected his thoughts. He had gone with Allison to her recent doctor’s appointment, which made their news all the more real. He was happy and excited, but a part of him felt scared.

He finished his run around the neighborhood, and returned home. He entered the house, and Allison was in the kitchen, singing along to the radio, using a wooden spoon as a microphone. Michael leaned in the doorway and smiled. After all this time, Allison’s silliness and zest for life still brought a smile to his face.

Allison was still singing. She hadn't noticed Michael standing there. When the song ended, Michael clapped. Allison spun around, still holding the spoon. She turned red. “How long have you been standing there?”

"Hey, Beautiful!", he greeted her, walking over to her and giving her a kiss.

"Hey, Babe", Allison said.  "How was your run?"

"It was great”, Michael said. “It was a good way to get the day going. What are you up to?”

“I’m making some cookies to bring over to your mom’s”, Allison replied, handing Michael the spoon so he could lick off the remaining batter.

“Mmmm”, Michael said approvingly. “Are you almost ready to go?”

Allison nodded. “I am”, she said. “I just need to get cleaned up.”

“And you’re feeling okay?”, Michael asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine”, Allison replied. “The nap helped.”

Michael pulled his wife into a warm hug and kissed the top of her head.  “I love you so much, Schmitty.”

"I love you, too Mike."  she whispered. “After all this time, you still call me Schmitty”

“Your last name may not be Schmitt anymore, but you’re still my Schmitty”, Michael said, pulling her closer to him.

Michael stood in the kitchen, still holding Allison in his arms. He looked around him.  They had built a beautiful life together, and had a beautiful home.  Now that they would soon have a new member of their little family, he couldn’t be happier.  In that moment, he knew that he had to love his child with everything that he had.  His thoughts drifted to his relationship with his own estranged father.  He promised himself that he would always be there for his own child, no matter what. He promised himself that he would do whatever it took to protect Allison and their child.

***

Allison stood at the large mirror at her dresser. She was putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

Michael sat behind her at the foot of the bed. He smiled at her in the mirror. Allison smiled back. “You look beautiful, sweetheart”, he said.

She fumbled with the clasp on her necklace. It was a simple, elegant silver chain with an infinity charm. Michael had given it to her at their engagement party a few years earlier. He stood up and helped her clasp the necklace around her neck. He put both hands on her shoulders and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

“I love you” he whispered.

Allison turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I love you too”, she said.

They walked out to the car. Michael opened the door for her and helped her into the car. 

Allison smiled. “Thank you. You know, we’re married now, Mike. You don’t have to do all things you did to try to impress me before I agreed to go out with you.”

Michael laughed. “No way. You’re my beautiful wife. If I want to keep trying to impress you, impress you I will!”

Allison blushed. Her heart fluttered. Suddenly she felt like she did before she and Michael got together, way back when she first started to develop feelings for him.

“Such a gentleman, you are.” she said with a laugh.

Michael laughed. “I do what I can. So, are you ready to tell my mom the big news? She’s going to be thrilled, you know.”

Allison smiled at him. “I know. I can’t wait to tell her, especially now that we’re at 12 weeks. The doctor says that at this point, we should be in the clear. Do you think Con and Tay will like having a little cousin?”

“I think they will” Michael said, squeezing Allison’s hand.

They drove to Debbie’s house for a Mother’s Day dinner. They were planning on surprising her with the big news. They pulled up to the house and walked up to the front door.

Debbie opened the door and stood in the doorway with a big smile on her face. “My favorite son and beautiful daughter-in-law!” she exclaimed.

Michael rolled his eyes and gave Debbie a hug. “Ma, I’m your only son”, he protested, with a smile.

Debbie grinned. “Lucky for you. Allison, honey. How are you?”, Debbie asked

“I’m great, Debbie”, Allison said. “Thank you for having us over”,

“You’re welcome, darling. Thank you for coming to spend Mother’s Day with me!”, Debbie replied.

The three of them walked into the house. Hilary, Whitney, Connor, and Taylor were already seated in the living room.

“Hi, everybody!” Michael greeted everyone.

“Hi!” Allison said, coming up from behind Michael.

After everyone was finished greeting each other, Michael leaned over to Allison. “Allison, sweetie, why don’t you sit down and rest?” he whispered, his hand on Allison’s arm.

“Okay” Allison whispered back, as she let Michael lead her over to the couch, his hand resting gently on the small of her back.

They sat down. Michael gently rubbed Allison’s knee. Allison touched his hand and leaned on his shoulder. Michael kissed the top of her head.

Across the room, Debbie and Hilary were watching them. They exchanged smiles.

“So…” Michael began slowly. “Do you think we could do gifts now?”

Whitney laughed. “Well, since Hil and I got here on time, we already gave Mom our gifts…”

“Yeah, you’re way behind, little brother!” Hilary added with a laugh.

Michael turned red and made a face at his sisters. “When I have I ever been on time for anything?” He asked, as everyone laughed.

“Well, you were born a week early…” Debbie offered. “…but ever since then you’ve been late for everything else!”

Everyone laughed again. Michael stuck out his lower lip in a mock pout and crossed his arms. “Thanks a lot”, he whined jokingly. “I love you guys, too!”

“Well, since everyone else already beat us to it, we’ll have to give you our gifts now!” Allison said to Debbie.

Michael handed Debbie a card and a small box. Debbie opened the card to reveal the message.

__  
Mom-  
On this mother’s day, and every day, I want to take the time to tell you how much I love you. 

_I’m so grateful for everything you have ever done for me in my life._

_You are the most important person in my life, and I’d never be where I am today without your love, support, and sacrifice._

_Love, Michael  
_

 

Debbie smiled and gently ran her finger along the signature. She closed the card and hugged it to her chest. “I love you, sweetheart” she said, as she and Michael shared a meaningful glance.

She carefully unwrapped the package sitting in her lap, and pulled out a pair of earrings.

“Thank you”, Debbie said, smiling. “They’re beautiful.”

Michael stood up and walked over to Debbie. They hugged, and Debbie kissed his cheek. “I love you, Mom” he said. He turned to face Allison. “Allie… do you want to…?

Allison nodded and stood up. “Debbie, I have a little something for you too…” She walked over to Debbie and handed her a small flat box.

Debbie opened the card to reveal Allison’s message:

__  
Mama Phelps,  
Happy Mothers Day! 

_Thank you so much for everything that you have done for Michael and me. I’m so thankful to be a part of this family, and am proud to be your daughter-in-law._

_Love,  Allison  
_

Debbie smiled. “Thank you, honey. This is very sweet.” She undid the ribbon, and carefully opened the small box to reveal a still image from the sonogram. Her eyes lit up. She looked up at Michael and Allison who were both smiling.

“Really?” she asked, her eyes shining. She was having, as she called them, a “DP Moment”.

Allison nodded.

Debbie stood up and walked over to Michael and Allison. She pulled both of them in for a hug. “I love you both” she said, planting a kiss on each of their cheeks.

Whitney and Hilary stood up, and walked over to Debbie and looked over her shoulder to get a closer look at the image. 

“Congratulations!” Whitney said, giving them both a big hug. “If there’s anything you guys need… any parental perspectives or anything, I’m here for you guys.”

“And I’ll be here to help you guys make sure your kid eats healthy”, Hilary added.

“Do they make seaweed salad in baby food form?” Michael asked, trying to keep a straight face.

Hilary laughed and lightly smacked Michael on the arm. “Shut up, Michael”, she said. “Seaweed is delicious!”

Connor stood up and walked over to the group. He looked concerned. “There’s going to be a baby?” he asked, as she tugged on the hem of Michael’s shirt.

Michael knelt down and gave his nephew a hug. “That’s right, Con. You and Tay are going to have a little cousin”

Taylor was watching everyone, and thought over the news. She shared a glance with her little brother then nodded. “A new cousin. Cool.” she said. “Can I be your baby sitter?”

Michael smiled and ruffled her curly hair. “Maybe when you get a little older, kiddo”

“But we’d love to have you around to help us out!” Allison spoke up. “Your new little cousin is going to need someone to teach them how to play games. Think you and Con are up for that?”

Taylor smiled. “Okay.”

“Yeah!”, Connor agreed.

Michael squeezed Allison’s shoulder and kissed her cheek. He stood up and went to pick up some of the cups sitting on the coffee table. He carried them into the kitchen while the rest of the family surrounded Allie. They were all smiling and laughing and talking about the baby.

Hilary saw Michael leave the room, and excused herself from the group. She followed him into the kitchen. “Mike… are you okay?” she asked.

“Uh huh” Michael answered. He didn’t look up. He busied himself with filling the dishwasher.

“Mike…” Hilary began.

“I’m fine, Hil.” Michael interrupted.

Hilary leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. “Okay, Little Brother. Start talking”

Michael looked up, still unable to meet Hilary’s eyes. “I… I just… I love her so damn much, Hil.”

Hilary nodded. “I know you do. So, what’s up?”

Michael looked at his feet. “I love her so much and I’m so excited about the baby. This is something that we’ve both wanted for a long time”

Hilary smiled and nodded. “Go on” she said gently.

Michael looked at his sister, and took a deep breath. “What if I screw it up?” he asked. “What if I let my kid down?”

Hilary walked over to where Michael was standing, and put her arm around him. “Is this about Dad?” she whispered

Michael looked at her. “I know your relationship with him is different than mine is…” he said quietly. “…but what I went through with him… I don’t want my child to know what that feels like. I could never put him or her through that”

Hilary nodded. She rubbed her hand on Michael’s back in small circles. “I know, and you won’t”, she said. “You’re an amazing person, Michael. You’ve always been successful at everything you’ve put your mind to, and you’re going to be great at this too. That little kid of yours is so lucky.”

Michael paused for a moment, then smiled. “Thanks, Hil.”

“Does Allie know that you’ve been feeling this way?” Hilary asked.

Michael shook his head. “Not yet.”

Hilary nodded. “You need to tell her”

Michael nodded. “I know. I’ll talk to her tonight”

“Good”, Hilary said.

Michael smiled. “Thanks again, Hil… and um… you know I was kidding when I teased you about the seaweed, right?”

Hilary laughed. “I know”, she said. “Just… don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!”

Michael grinned. “I’ll take your word for it. I love you, Hil”

Hilary gave her brother a hug. “I love you too, you goofball”

Debbie joined them in the kitchen. “So, this is where you two disappeared to” she said with a smile.

Hilary patted Michael on the arm before leaving to join the group in the living room. “We just had a little brother to sister chat. _Someone_ has a small case of new parent jitters”

Debbie eyed Michael carefully. “Are you okay, honey?” she asked.

Michael smiled. “Yeah. I am. Thanks, Mom. I’m feeling a little nervous, but Hil talked me down. I feel a lot better.”

Debbie smiled. “Good. Sweetheart, I just want you to know that I am very happy about this news, and I’m here for anything you and Allison need.”

Michael hugged Debbie. “Thanks, Ma. I love you so much.”

They walked back into the living room, where everyone was getting ready to leave. Michael helped Allison put on her cardigan, and handed her her purse. Everyone hugged goodbye. Whitney was carrying Connor, who was beginning to doze off. He opened his eyes and brightened up when he saw Michael and Allison.  
“Bye Uncle Mike! Bye Auntie Allie!” he said happily, before dozing off on his mother’s shoulder again.

Michael and Allison climbed into the car and began the ride home. Michael noticed that Allison was being very quiet.

“Schmitty. Are you okay”, Michael asked.

“Yeah… just tired”, Allison yawned. “Michael… are you happy about all of this? The baby?”

Michael took a deep breath. “Of course I am” he said. After a pause, he said, “I have to be honest with you about something though.”

“I knew it. You hate the idea of this”, Allison said.

“Allison, no. That’s not it at all”, Michael began. “I’m so happy about this. I just want you to know that I’m… a little nervous”

Allison breathed a sigh of relief. “You are?”, she asked. “I am too.”

Michael reached over and touched her shoulder. “Good. We can be scared together.”

Allison gasped. “If we’re both scared, who’s going to take care of the kid?” She asked, cracking a smile.

“We’ll help each other get through it”, Michael replied. “We can do this, Schmitty.”


	3. Chapter 3

The following morning, Michael and Allison woke up with the sun. Allison was preparing to go to school, and Michael was headed for the pool. They took some time to eat breakfast together before they had to leave. 

Michael took a sip of his coffee. “Allie”, he began. “There’s something that I want to ask you.”

“Sure”, Allison said with her mouth full of scrambled eggs. “What’s on your mind?”

“I was thinking about the baby, and as you know, my mom is thrilled”, he began, and Allison smiled, because she did know. “So, I was thinking that with your parents so far away, it might be nice to have another grandparent-like figure around….”

Allison smiled. “and you were thinking about asking Bob?”, she asked.

Michael nodded. “If that’s okay”, he said. “I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather ask.”

“I think he would be perfect”, Allison said. “You know how much I love Bob, and I know that he’s always been like a dad to you. Plus, he’s really close with your mom. He’s always been a part of the family, and I’m sure our child will think of him that way too.”

Michael smiled, and reached across the table for Allison’s hand. “Thank you, sweetie”, he said. “I’m thinking about asking him today, if that’s okay with you.”

Allison smiled. “Perfect”, she said. She stood up. “Well, it’s time for me to go. I have a meeting first thing.”

Michael nodded, and put their breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. “I should go too”, he said. “Let’s walk out together.”

They walked out to their cars and kissed goodbye. “See you tonight”, Michael said.

“Have a good day, babe”, Allison replied. “I love you.”

Michael pulled her close to him and gave her a kiss. “I love you so much, sweetheart”, he said.

Michael arrived at Meadowbrook. He and Bob were working hard to prepare the members of the elite team for the Charlotte stop of the Arena Pro Swim Series in a few weeks. During a break, the two of them were sitting in Bob’s office drinking coffee and chatting.

“I’m going to be a dad!” Michael exclaimed between sips of coffee. “This is crazy!”

Bob looked thoughtful. “It’s not so crazy”, he said with a smile. “You’re great with kids. You and Allison are going to be wonderful parents.”

Michael smiled. “Thanks, Bob”, he said. I’m excited about this. I am. It’s just a little scary. That’s all.”

“You’re going to be fine, kiddo” Bob said. “If you and Allison need anything, you have your family around… and you have me.”

Michael looked up to face Bob. They had spent countless hours together in the two-plus decades that they had known each other. While they rarely showed their emotion together, or spoke of their close relationship, it was there. Growing up, Michael’s relationship with his father was strained at best. As an adult, it was virtually non-existent. He was grateful to have Bob in his life, and Bob felt the same way. He guided Michael the way a father might, and they often fought like father and son. At the end of the day, their relationship felt like family. 

“That… actually brings up something I wanted to ask you about. My mom is thrilled about having another grandkid, and Allison’s parents are really happy too… but with them so far away, Allison and I think that our child is going to need another grandparent-like figure in his or her life. You’ve always been like a Dad to me…” he trailed off.

“Yes”, Bob said without the slightest bit of hesitation. “It would be an honor.”

Michael nodded. “Thanks Bob”, he said. “It really means a lot to me and Allison to have you around. I know our kid will love you as much as we do.”

“Thank you, Michael”, Bob said. “You and Allison both mean so much to me.”

Later that evening, Michael arrived at home, and started to cook dinner. Allison wasn’t back yet, but Michael knew that she tended to run late some evenings. He had set a bouquet of fresh flowers on the table, and was just finishing cooking when Allison walked in. She set her keys on the side table and smiled when she saw Michael standing at the stove.

“Mike!”, she exclaimed. “You cooked?”

Michael nodded. “I thought my beautiful wife deserved a treat”, he replied, his hazel eyes twinkling. “Have a seat. Everything is almost ready.” With a quick lesson over the phone from Hilary, Michael had prepared chicken, broccoli, and ziti, garlic bread, and a tossed salad. He set everything out on the table with a smile. Allison watched him in awe as he presented her with his home-cooked meal. Michael wasn’t completely useless in the kitchen, but Allison was usually the one who made dinner. Michael’s idea of “cooking dinner”, was bringing home takeout. Allison was surprised and happy.

Before sitting down, Allison wrapped her arms around Michael’s waist and kissed his neck. “Thank you”, she said.

“Anything for you, Love”, Michael replied, as he turned and kissed her.

The two of them sat down and began eating. “Mike!”, Allison said between bites. “This is amazing. You did this all by yourself?”

Michael smiled and nodded. “I did”, he said proudly. “Well…Hilary coached me over the phone.”

Allison laughed. “Still impressive”, she replied.

“Thank you, honey”, Michael said, obviously very pleased with himself. “So, how was work today?”

Allison smiled. “It was great!”, she said. “I helped a couple of my seniors revise their resumes. There’s a big job fair next week, so I helped them get ready for that.”

“That’s great”, Michael replied. Allison loved her work, and Michael was so proud of her for working hard and doing something that she loved.

“How was practice today?”, Allison asked.

“It was good”, Michael said. “When the team was taking a break, I actually had a chance to go for a swim today. It felt good because I haven’t been working out lately as much as I would like to.”

“Yeah, I was gonna say!”, Allison teased.

“Hey!”, Michael protested, but he was smiling.

Allison rolled her eyes. “I was kidding, Mike. You’re perfect.” 

Michael blushed. “Thanks, honey”, he said with a smile. “Anyway, the kids are looking really good. Charlotte is so soon. I think they’re going to do great. It really brings back a lot of memories.”

"Glad to hear it", Allison responded. “I’d love to be able to come with you to see them, but I’ll have to see how I feel when it gets closer.”

“Of course”, Michael agreed. “I’d love to have you there with me if you’re feeling up to it when the time comes.”


	4. Chapter 4

The following day, Michael and Allison woke up and had breakfast together. Michael surprised Allison by cooking again. He made eggs, bacon, and potatoes. Michael served her, then sat down to join her.

Allison smiled as she took a big bite. “Thanks, Mike!”, she said. “I could really get used to this!”

Michael grinned back at her. “You’re welcome, sweetie”, he said. “Now that I know what I’m doing, cooking isn’t so hard. I actually kind of like it. It’s fun, and really relaxing. Plus, Hilary is a really good teacher.”

“A vegan taught you how to make eggs and bacon?”, Allison asked with a laugh as she smirked at him.

Michael pouted, but he was laughing. “Funny you should mention that”, he said. “When I moved to Michigan to be with Bob after he took the job there, it was the first time I lived on my own. I didn’t really know how to cook, and I was trying not to eat out too much. My vegetarian friend was the one who taught me how to cook a steak. That’s how badly I was hurting in the kitchen!”

Allison laughed. “I remember that story!”, she replied.

After they finished eating, they cleaned up. They both had the day off of work. Allison had a doctor’s appointment, and Michael had insisted that he come along. Allison felt bad that he was missing a day of work, but Michael had assured her that it wouldn’t be a problem. He wanted to be with her every step of the way. So, it was settled. Allison agreed to let Michael come along, and he promised to take her out for a nice lunch after the appointment.

Michael led Allison out to the driveway, and helped her into the passenger seat of the Escalade. Allison smiled. After all these years, simple gestures like that still made her happy. She was pleased by how their friendship had evolved to dating, and eventually marriage. After all this time, their relationship and love for each other had only grown. 

“Thanks, Mike”, she said. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

Michael leaned over and pressed his forehead against hers. He kissed her gently and rubbed her arms. “No”, he said softly. “I am.”

He walked over to the other side of the car, climbed in, and began the drive to the hospital. “So”, he began. “Do you think you what to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“Well”, Allison said. “It’s still early, so we wouldn’t be finding that out today anyway, but now that you mention it, I think I actually want to be surprised. Is that okay with you?”

Michael smiled and reached over to squeeze her shoulder. “Of course”, he said. “Whatever you want is fine with me. You know I love surprises!”

Allison burst out laughing. “No you don’t!”, she protested.

Michael made a face at her. “Okay”, he said. “You’re right. Seriously though, if you want to wait and be surprised, that’s completely fine with me.”

***

Allison sat up on the examination table, waiting for her ultrasound. Michael clasped his fingers through hers and played with her fingers.

Allison smiled at him. “What, you got tired of fidgeting with your own hands and now you have to fidget with mine?”, she joked.  
Michael looked down at their hands and blushed. “Sorry”, he said, grinning sheepishly.

Allison smiled back at him. “I’m just teasing you.” She leaned over and gave him a kiss.

The ultrasound technician walked into the room. “Hi Mr. and Mrs. Phelps, how are you today?”

“Doing well. It’s nice to see you again” Michael said.

She smiled. “Allison, how are you? Feeling okay?”

Allison took a deep breath. “I’m feeling okay. The morning sickness has started to subside. It was pretty bad for a while there, but I’m doing a lot better”

Still holding Allison’s hand, Michael said, “Yeah, we had a rough time for a while, but it’s getting a lot better.”

“Allison, will your husband be staying in the room for your appointment?” She asked.

Allison looked at Michael, who nodded. “Yes”, she replied.

The ultrasound technician smiled at their interaction. “Okay, now remember, this is going to feel a little cold, okay?”, she said as she lifted up Allison’s shirt, and spread the blue gel on Allison’s abdomen. She moved the wand until the image appeared on the screen next to them. 

The ultrasound technician looked over a few things on the screen, and pointed things out to Allison and Michael. “Everything looks great, Allison. You’re very healthy. The baby’s heartbeat sounds good. Everything is progressing as it should be.”

At the end of the appointment, Michael and Allison walked back out to the car hand in hand. He led her to the car, and they climbed in and began the drive home. Michael wanted to take Allison out for a special lunch, so they stopped at the Four Seasons on the way back to the house. After a nice lunch of crab legs, french fries seasoned with Old Bay seasoning, and finishing off with creme brûlée for dessert, they left to go back home.

Michael started the car and started the drive back to their suburban home. “I love you, Allison”, he said out of the blue.

Allison smiled, and reached over and squeezed his knee. “I love you too, Mike”, she said softly.

When they arrived back home, they went back inside, and both collapsed onto the couch to rest.   
Allison leaned on Michael’s shoulder and he put his arm around her. “Thank you for a nice day, honey”, she said. “It was perfect.”

“Anything for you, Allie”, Michael said. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too”, Allison said. “and I can’t wait to raise this baby with you.”

Michael reached over and picked up one of the baby magazines that was sitting on the coffee table. He started flipping through it. “Do you have any ideas for decorating the nursery?”, he asked.

Allison smiled as she considered this. “Maybe light blue with stars and moons painted on with stencils?”, she suggested. “I saw it in one of the magazines and it looks really cute. I think it would be good for a few years too, since it’s not an exclusively “baby” design. We can always redecorate as he or she grows up.”

Michael smiled. “That’s a great idea, Allie”, he said. “and I’m sure we can get our friends and family to come over and help us paint. We can make a day of it.”

“Perfect”, Allie replied.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and commenting! After I post the chapter after this one, I will have posted everything that I have written. I need to crack down and write more, because this story is far from over. There's some heavy stuff coming up, so just be warned.

Allison and Michael were clearing out the room that they were going to use as the nursery. Ever since they bought the house, it had mostly been used for storage. They were packing up boxes to move to the attic. Michael wouldn’t let Allison lift any of the boxes, so instead, she was sitting on a stool and going through some of the piles around the room. Michael came over and sat down on the floor next to her stool. He put both hands on her knees and smiled at her. She placed her hands on top of his and smiled back.

“Allison, can I talk to you about something?”, he asked. He sounded nervous.

“Of course, Mike. What’s up?” Allison asked cheerfully.

Michael looked at her. His hands were jiggling up and down, and that’s how Allison could tell how nervous he was. They knew each other, and each other’s habits so well. She took his hands in hers in an attempt to steady them. “Relax, Mike”, she whispered gently. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

He smiled and took one of her hands in his and gently kissed it. “Okay. Here’s the thing. I got a call today about the foundation, and we’re trying to expand the IM classes some more. Some clubs in the Boston area have expressed interest, and I was asked to go up there for a couple days. It’s all pretty sudden, I know. These trips are usually planned much further in advance than this. Anyway, Bob actually offered to come with me. I um… I just wanted to check with you before I go in case you need me to stay… or, I mean, I’d love for you to come if you want.”

“Mike, you don’t have to ask. Of course it’s okay for you to go away! I think I’m going to stay home, if you don’t mind. I’ve been feeling a little achy lately, and I’ve had some rough mornings this week.”

“Rough Mornings?”, Michael asked, alarmed. “Why didn’t you say anything? You really should have told me!”

“Calm down, Mike” Allison said with a smile. “It’s just nausea. It’s nothing to get worked up about. It usually passes after a few hours, but I just don’t know if a trip is a good idea for me. I should probably stay home and rest.”

“Sweetie, I don’t want to leave you alone if you’ve been feeling sick. I’ll cancel the trip.” Michael said. “They can make do without me this time.”

“No, Mike. Go. Please. The trip will be good exposure for your programs. It will be good for you to be there”, Allison told him. “I’ll be fine.”, she added, when Michael didn’t look convinced.

“Okay. As long as you’re sure”, Michael said slowly, and Allison heard the uncertainty in his voice.

“Mike. I’m fine”, Allison said with a smile, trying to convince him, and perhaps herself.

***

It was early in the morning. Allison was lying in bed as Michael got ready to leave for his business trip. She still wasn’t feeling well, and was taking the day off from work again. Michael leaned down and kissed her on the forehead and picked up his suitcase.

“Bob will be here any minute”, he said. “Al, are you sure you don’t mind me going on this trip? I really hate leaving you here by yourself.”

Allison yawned. “Mike, it’s fine. I promise”, she said. “Go.”

Michael sighed. “Okay”, he said hesitantly. “I’ll call you tonight. Call my mom if you need anything. Please. She’ll be happy to come over. I love you, Schmitty.”

Allison smiled. She yawned again, and reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. “I love you too, you big idiot”, she said as she cracked a smile. “Now, get out of here and let me sleep!”

They both laughed. “Okay, Okay, I’m gone!” Michael said as he smiled and threw his hands up in surrender.

Michael picked up his suitcase and left the room. Allison settled back onto the pillows and closed her eyes. 

Allison awoke a few hours later to the sound of her ringing phone. “Mama Phelps”, the caller ID read. Allison picked up the phone, and answered. “Hi Debbie!” she said sleepily.

“Hi Honey!” Debbie said. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

Allison yawned again. “It’s okay”, she said. “I was napping, but I should get up now, anyway. I’m glad you called.”

“How are you feeling?”, Debbie asked.

“I’m feeling great!” Allison lied.

“Are you sure, sweetie?”, Debbie asked softly. “Have you had anything to eat yet?”

Allison sighed. Like Mother, Like Son. “Michael talked to you?”, she asked.

Debbie chuckled. “Yes”, she admitted. “He called me on his way to the airport. He said you’ve been feeling sick for a few days. He wanted me to check up on you while he’s away.”

Allison hesitated. “My back hurts. The morning sickness was gone for a while, but this week has been… pretty bad. I haven’t been able to eat anything without getting sick.”

“Do you need anything, sweetie?” Debbie asked gently.

“No, I’m fine”, Allison said.

“Would you like me to come over and keep you company?” Debbie asked.

“Okay. That would be nice.”, Allison agreed. She was so grateful to have Michael’s mother so close by. With her own mother so far away, she loved having Debbie nearby. Debbie liked to think of herself as everyone’s mother.

“I’ll come over after work”, Debbie said. “I’ll bring you some dinner in case you’re feeling up for eating when I get there.”

“Thank you, Debbie. I appreciate it. I’ll see you later this afternoon.”, Allison said shakily.

“Okay honey. I love you”, Debbie said.

“Love you too, Mama Phelps”, Allison said

 

***

 

Allison was sitting on the couch in the living room, with her feet propped up on a pillow on the coffee table. Her aches and pains were only getting worse. She closed her eyes, and the doorbell rang.

Allison struggled to her feet, and opened the door for Debbie, who was carrying a grocery bag full of food in her arms.

“Hi, baby”, she said cheerfully, giving Allison a one-armed hug with her free hand.

“Hi Debbie” Allison said, trying to force herself to smile, as she weakly returned the hug.

Debbie went into the kitchen as Allison followed her. She set the bag on the counter and turned to face Allison. “Sweetheart, you’re very pale.” Debbie said slowly. “How are you really feeling.”

Allison looked down at her feet. She looked up again to face Debbie, and began to cry. “Not good”, she said honestly. “My stomach is bothering me a lot. I haven’t been able to keep food down. It’s worse than the morning sickness I had in the beginning of the pregnancy. Every muscle in my body hurts. I’m always dizzy. I don’t know what’s going on.”

Debbie looked up at her daughter-in-law and drew her into a hug. “Oh honey”, she said gently. “Does Michael know any of this? I know my son, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have left for his trip if he knew.”

Allison shook her head. “He doesn’t know. I mean, he doesn’t know it was this bad. I didn’t want him to worry.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning - pregnancy complications.

The next day, Michael was in his hotel room, lying in bed. He wanted to rest after a long day of meetings. He was about to fall asleep, when his phone rang. Debbie’s number flashed on the caller ID. He swiped the answer call button. “Hey, Ma. What’s going on? I miss you.”

“Hi Michael” Debbie said. Her tone was calm, yet urgent.

Michael sat up in bed, startled. “Mom? What’s going on? What’s wrong?”, Michael asked, feeling his chest tighten.

“Sweetheart, you need to come home. It’s Allison… something’s wrong.”, Debbie said. “We don’t know what’s going on yet, but she’s in the ER at Johns Hopkins.”

Michael’s voice caught in his throat. “Is she… going to be okay?”

Debbie didn’t answer him. “Honey, just get here as soon as you can. I spoke with Gail and she’s going to book a flight so she can be here too.”

“Okay. I love you” Michael said as he hung up the phone.

Michael felt like he was in a daze. He walked down the hall to Bob’s hotel room and knocked.

Bob opened the door. “Oh, hi Michael. What’s…” Bob stopped when he saw the look on Michael’s face. “Son? What’s wrong?”

Michael’s voice shook. “I have to get home”, he said. Mom called. It’s Allie… She… she’s sick or something. Something’s wrong. I need to be with her.”

Bob nodded. “Okay”, he said calmly. “Let’s get you home.”   
Michael nodded, his eyes filling with tears. He tried to blink them away. “Thanks, Bob”, he said, giving the older man a hug.

“It’s going to be okay, son. Allison is strong. Whatever this is, she’ll get through it.” Bob comforted.

Michael nodded. “She’s one of the strongest people I know. But…” He paused. “I’m scared.”  
***

Outside, a storm was brewing. The skies were grey, the rain was practically coming down sideways, and the wind was whipping through the trees.

“Dammit!” Michael exclaimed. “There’s no way we’re going to get a flight out in these conditions”

Bob tried to remain calm. “It’s going to be okay, Michael. We’ll find a way to get you there.”

Michael nodded. They waited outside of the Park Plaza Hotel. “Okay”, he said. “Thanks.”

Bob watched Michael carefully. “You know what Michael?”, he said. “We can’t risk waiting around for a flight, we might not be able to get out until tomorrow. Let’s just go to South Station and buy a train ticket back to Baltimore. It’s longer than a flight, but in the grand scheme of things, it might get us back faster… just in the event that they’re aren't any flights.”

Michael didn’t argue. “Sure, Bob”, he said. “Whatever you think is best.”

Michael was silent for a large part of the cab ride to the train station. He looked out the window. He glanced at the Boston skyline passing by outside. He saw the flashing red light atop the old John Hancock tower.

“What do you think the red light means?” he asked Bob as he stared out the window and tried to distract himself.

“Solid Blue, Skies are too. Flashing Blue, Can’t See Through. Solid Red, Rain Ahead. Flashing Red, Snow Instead”, the driver recited.

“Neat”, Bob commented. “but it’s July. It doesn’t snow in Boston in July. Or it shouldn’t. I mean… I know you guys have unpredictable weather…”

The driver chuckled. “Well, during the summer, Flashing Red means that the Red Sox game is rained out.”

“Too bad. Would have been nice to see them beat the Yankees today”, Bob said.

“Don’t I know it!”, the cab driver agreed.

“Rough season for you guys this year, huh?” Bob asked.

“Terrible” The cab driver said. “Where are you two gentlemen from?”

“Baltimore”, Bob said.

“Charm City!”, the cab driver exclaimed. “Great place.”

“Sure is”, Bob agreed with a smile as the driver pulled up in front of South Station. 

Bob paid him. “Thank you so much”, he said as he and Michael picked up their luggage and walked towards the door of the station.

“Good luck getting home!”, the driver called out cheerfully. “Let’s go O’s!”

“Thank you”, Michael replied, as he tried to smile. He was aware that his voice was shaking. He wasn’t fond of expressing his emotions so freely, but this time, he didn’t care.

Michael and Bob walked into the station, and Bob ran ahead to the ticket counter to find out if there were any last minute tickets available. Michael trailed behind, and sank down onto a bench to call Debbie.

Debbie answered on the first ring. “Hi Sweetie”, she said gently. 

“Mama?”, was all Michael could manage to choke out. His body felt like lead. His throat was dry. His eyes were stinging. He was having trouble breathing and forming complete sentences.

“It doesn’t look good”, Debbie said softly. “Continuing with the pregnancy could put Allison’s health at risk.”

Michael let out an incomprehensible noise. “So, what does that mean?”, Michael asked. “That sounds scary.”

“I know, baby”, Debbie said. “It’s tough. When will you be here?”

“The weather is terrible. Flights are all cancelled”, Michael said. “We’re buying train tickets. It’s a longer ride, but at least we can leave right away. We’ll probably be in Baltimore by midnight.”

Debbie sighed again. “Okay sweetie. I’ll meet you at the hospital.”, she said. “I love you”

“I love you too, Mom”, Michael said. He could feel his voice shaking. He swallowed the lump in his throat. He was trying as hard as he could to avoid crying. “Give Allie a hug for me. Tell her I’ll be with her soon.”

“I will, baby”, Debbie said. “See you soon.”

“Bye, Mom”, Michael said.

***

Bob came back over to where Michael was sitting. He was holding two tickets. “We’re in luck!”, he said. “The next train leaves in twenty minutes.”

Michael smiled. “Thanks, Bob”, he said. 

“Any updates?”, Bob asked gently.

Michael nodded. “I called Mom”, he said. She told me that there’s something wrong with the baby, and continuing with the pregnancy puts Allie’s life in danger. I just want to go home. I want to be with my wife.”

“We’ll get there soon”, Bob told him. “Do you want to grab some lunch before we board the train?”

Michael shook his head. “I’m not very hungry”, he said.

Bob nodded. “Okay”, he said. “I’ll be right back.”

Michael waited by the platform with their bags while Bob hurried to the other side of the terminal and got a sandwich for himself. He got a cup of coffee and a soft pretzel for Michael, just in case.

As the announcement came over the loudspeaker telling them that their train was about to board, Bob came back over to where Michael was standing. He handed him the cup of coffee.

“Thanks”, Michael said quietly, as he took the cup.

“You’re welcome”, Bob said. “I also got you a soft pretzel in case you get hungry later. It’s a long train ride.”

Michael smiled a little bit. “Cinnamon Sugar?”, he asked hopefully.

Bob nodded. “Would I get you anything else?”, he asked.

Michael grinned, a little bit wider this time. “Thanks, Bob”, he said. “You know me well.”

They got on the train, and began the ride home. Bob took a book out of his bag and began to read. Michael tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

As he drifted off to sleep, he let his mind wander, and he recalled the first time he met Allison.

 

_June 2008 - Ann Arbor, Michigan_

_Allison came to Club Wolverine to train with the elite group. At first, Michael and his teammates raised their eyebrows at the arrival of this “kid”. “Does she really belong?”, they all wondered. Yes. Yes she did._

_Not only was she an immensely talented athlete, she was sweet, friendly, and always made everyone laugh with her lively personality and quirky sense of humor. She and Michael became fast friends._

_When he was on the phone with Hilary one evening before Olympic Trials, Hilary asked him if anything new was happening in his life._

_“I met a girl!”, he said._

_“You meet girls all the time”, Hilary had countered._

_“Not like this”, Michael told her. “This one is special.”_

_It would take them a few more years to begin their romantic relationship, but when anyone asked him when he knew how he felt about Allison, he pinpoints it to the day she arrived at Club Wolverine._

 

Michael opened his eyes. He wiped away another tear, as he looked out the window to see that they were passing through Philadelphia. He couldn’t wait to be home.

“Are you okay, Michael?”, Bob asked him.

Michael nodded. “Yeah”, he said. “I’m just thinking about Allie. I just want to be with her and hold her.”

“We’ll be there soon”, Bob said. “You hungry?”

Michael nodded. “A little bit”, he said, his eyes widening. “Still have that pretzel?”

Bob grinned. “I sure do!”, he said, as he took the pretzel out of his laptop bag and handed it to Michael.

Michael happily took a big bite, as he spilled cinnamon sugar all over his lap. “Messy”, he commented.

“You or the pretzel?”, Bob cracked.

Michael made a face at him. “Be nice!”, he joked.

Soon enough, just before midnight, the train pulled into Baltimore Penn Station and Michael and Bob collected their belongings and walked outside. 

“Do you want to go right to the hospital?”, Bob asked him.

Michael nodded. “Yeah”, he said. “I think that would be best.”

“Do you want company?”, Bob asked him.

“I’ll be okay”, Michael said. “I mean, you can come if you want, but you don’t have to.”

Bob nodded. “Okay”, he said. “You go to the hospital, and I’ll take your luggage to your house for you.”

“Okay”, Michael said. “Good idea. Thanks, Bob.”

“Do you want to call a cab?”, Bob asked.

Michael shook his head. “No”, he said. “I’m just going to walk. It’s only a couple miles.”

Bob hesitated. “It’s late, Michael”, he said gently. 

Michael smiled. “I’ll be okay”, he said. “A walk will clear my head a little bit. It’s okay. Really.”

“Okay”, Bob said. “Call me if you need anything, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you then”, Michael said. “Thanks for everything.”

“Any time, kid”, Bob said, as Michael crossed the street, and walked to the hospital. The whole way there, he thought about Allison, and all that they had been through together. They had been through so much, and Michael knew that whatever awaited him at the hospital, they’d get through that too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same trigger warning as previous chapter.

Michael arrived at the hospital. He hadn’t hadn’t been able to get a lot of sleep on the train, and other than the pretzel that Bob bought for him, he hadn’t had much to eat. He was tired, hungry, and nervous. When he reached the floor that Allison was on, he followed the signs to the ICU. Debbie and Gail were waiting for him, and they both had tears in their eyes. Michael’s heart dropped to his stomach. He knew that whatever news awaited him, wasn’t going to be good news.

His face went white, and he felt like his throat was closing. “Mama?”, he asked helplessly. He was scared of what she might say. He recalled what Debbie told him on the phone earlier, about what continuing the pregnancy would mean for Allison’s health. He wanted to be a dad so badly, but at that moment, the only thing on his mind was the safety and health of his wife.

Debbie shook her head sadly. “The baby didn’t make it, honey”, she said.

Michael nodded and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He felt a tear roll down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away. He felt so scared. He wanted to know if Allison was okay. “Schmitty?”, he asked.

Debbie nodded, and reached up to cup Michael’s cheek in her hand. With her thumb, she gently wiped away another tear that had started to make its way down his cheek. “Allie’s okay, baby”, she said. “She’s tired, and she's very upset, but she’s going to be okay. I love you, my boy.”

Michael nodded as he sank down into a chair in the waiting room. He buried his face in his hands. Debbie sat down next to him and put her arm around him. He put his head on her shoulder and cried. “I love you too, Mom”, he said between sobs. “Can I see her?”

Debbie looked up at Gail who nodded. “I think that would be okay”, Gail said, as she put her arm around Michael. I’ll take you to her.”

“Thank you”, Michael said, as he stood up and walked down the hall with Gail. “I’m sorry I got here so late. The weather in Boston was pretty bad, and flights were cancelled… We ended up taking the train, and it was a long ride.”

Gail squeezed his shoulder. “It’s okay, Michael”, she said. “Allison understood that you were trying to get here as quickly as possible. You’re so good to her, and Ralph and I can’t imagine having a better guy as our son-in-law.”

“Thank you, Gail”, Michael said quietly. “I love her and you and your family so much, and all I thought about on the way home was… I mean… I was scared I was going to lose her.”

Gail rubbed his back as she led him into Allison’s room. “Allie, sweetie”, she called out softly. “There’s someone here to see you.”

Allison opened her eyes, and wiped away a tear. “Hey”, she said with a small smile. “You finally made it!”

“I’ll give you two some privacy”, Gail said gently, as she exited the room.

Michael sat down in the chair next to Allison’s bed and took her hand. He held her hand to his cheek, and tried not to cry. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I’m so so sorry”, he said. “How are you feeling?”

Allison hesitated. “Physically, not all that terrible, actually”, she said. “Emotionally, not so great.”

Michael nodded. “I’m just glad that you’re okay”, he said. “I was really scared.”

Alison smiled. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how sick I was”, she said quietly. “At first I didn’t think it was that bad, and then you had to go on your trip and I didn’t want you to skip it, so I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry, Mike.”

Michael smiled. “I knew you felt worse than you were letting on”, he said. “That’s why I called my Mom. Then she called your Mom…”

Allison took his hand. “I’m glad you did, Mike”, she said.

“I just don’t want anything bad to ever happen to you, Schmitty”, Michael said. “You are so special to me. I love you.”

“I love you too, Michael”, Allison said. “You’re so good to me. I’m lucky.”

Michael smiled and squeezed her hand. “I’m lucky too”, he said gently. “We’e going to get through this, just like we’ve gotten through everything else.”

Allison smiled and nodded as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Michael stayed in the chair next to her bed, and soon enough, he fell asleep too.

The next morning, Debbie found him asleep in the chair in an uncomfortable position. Allison had gone down the hall for some tests.

“Michael, sweetie”, Debbie said softly, as she gently shook him awake. “Did you sleep like that all night?”

Michael opened his eyes and stretched. He cringed. His back hurt from sleeping in a chair all night. “Is it morning?”, he asked groggily. “What’s going on?”

“Good Morning, Baby”, Debbie said gently, with her hand on his shoulder. “Allie is having some tests done.”

“Is she okay?”, Michael asked.

Debbie nodded. “We think so”, she said. “The doctors just want to make sure. She’ll probably have to stay here one more night.”

Michael smiled, finally a bit more awake. “Thanks for taking care of her while I was away”, he said. “I wish I had known how bad it was.”

“It’s not your fault, Baby”, Debbie said. “Allie is going to be okay.”

Michael nodded. “I’m glad”, he said. “I’m sad about the baby, though.”

“I know, honey”, Debbie said, as she squeezed his shoulder. “It’s a very sad situation. Why don’t you go home and get some rest?”

Michael shook his head. “I’m going to stay here and wait for Allie”, he said. “I don’t want her to be alone when she gets back.”

Debbie nodded. “Okay”, she said. “She’ll probably be back in an hour. Do you want to get something to eat while we wait? Bob called me to check in a little while ago. He said you didn’t get a chance to eat much yesterday.”

Michael nodded. “Good idea”, he said. “I was too nervous to eat a lot last night. I’m hungry now. Breakfast would be great.”

“Good”, Debbie said. “Let’s go to the cafeteria.”

Michael stood up and stretched his arms as he yawned. He put his arm around Debbie and they walked out of the room together. “Okay”, he said. “Thanks, Mom.”

Debbie put her arm around him. “I love you”, she said.

“I love you too”, he said.

Michael and Debbie went downstairs to the hospital cafeteria. They had some breakfast together, and talked.

“You’re a good man, Michael”, Debbie said with a smile. “Allison is a lucky lady.”

“Thanks, Mom”, Michael said. “I’m really lucky, too. I was so scared. The whole ride home, I was thinking about all these moments that she and I have shared, and I…”

“You thought you were going to lose her?”, Debbie finished gently.

Michael nodded. The lump in his throat was back. He swallowed. “Yeah”, he said. “I was mad at myself for not realizing how bad things were. I was upset that she didn’t tell me. I was scared that something might happen to her.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over that, Michael”, Debbie said gently. “You are a wonderful man, son, brother, and husband. We all love you so much. Yours and Allison’s marriage is built on love, strength, and trust. You two will get through this, I promise.”  
“Thanks, Mama”, Michael said with a small smile.

He and Debbie threw away their trash from breakfast, and each refilled their coffee cups before going back upstairs. When they got upstairs, they found out that Allison was cleared to go home later that day. Allison was happy to be going home, and Michael was grateful that she was going to be okay.


	8. Chapter 8

That evening, Michael made dinner for himself, Allison, Debbie, and Gail, and the four of them enjoyed a quiet evening together. After dinner, Debbie went home. Gail was going to be staying with Michael and Allison for a few days, just to make sure that everything was okay, and to help out around the house. Michael wanted Allison to be able to rest for a few days without worrying about housework or cooking, so he was grateful for an extra pair of hands. After Gail helped him clean up from dinner, Michael set her up in the guest room and put out some clean towels for her. Then he took Allison to bed. He pulled the covers over her and leaned down to kiss her cheek. 

“I love you, Allison”, he said softly, as he gently brushed a stray strand of auburn curls out of her eye with his thumb. Her skin felt so soft. He ran his hand down her cheek, to her neck, and down to her shoulder.

Allison smiled. “I love you too, Michael”, she said, sitting up to give him another kiss. “Thank you for everything.”.

Michael sat down on the edge of the bed, and hugged her tightly. “Anything for you, sweetheart”, he said as he stood up and walked around to the other side of the bed. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed next to her. “I’ll always be here for you, and I’ll always love you.”

Allison snugged closer to him. “I love you more than anything”, she said quietly, her voice thick with sleep.

Michael wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close. He was comforted as he breathed in her familiar scent. It was a combination of soap, shampoo, and the same perfume that she had been wearing for the entire time that they had known each other. The sounds of their two hearts beating as one slowly lulled him to sleep, and he knew that no matter what happened from there, that he and Allison were going to be okay. He knew right then and there that they could get through anything, as long as they did it together.

When he woke up the next morning, Allison wasn’t in bed. He went downstairs and found her having coffee in the kitchen with her mother.

“Good Morning, Sleepy Head”, Gail said gently. She stood up and gave Michael a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” She went into the living room.

Michael sat down at the table and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Good Morning, sweetie”, he said. “How are you feeling.”

Allison looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She absentmindedly ran her hand up and down her coffee cup. “I need to get away for a while, Mike”, she said quietly.

Michael nodded. “Of course”, he said. “Let’s plan a nice trip somewhere. We can go anywhere you want. Did you have anything in mind?”

“No, like… _I_ need to get away”, Allison said. “I need to go somewhere alone.”

Michael didn’t know what to say. “I…I… what?”, he asked. “What are you saying?”

Allison looked at him carefully. “I just need to get away for a while to clear my head. I’m pretty upset about the baby, and I need some space.”

It had already been an emotional few days, and now this? Michael didn’t know how to ask Allison what he wanted to know. “Allie”, he began. “Are you saying that you want to…”

Allison’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my God!”, she exclaimed, as her hands flew to her mouth. She had realized what she made him think and how much it had scared him. “No! Not at all. I love you so much. I just need to take some time away.”

Michael nodded. “If that’s what you want”, he said softly. “You know that I’ll always support you. Can I just ask… why?

Allison stood up and walked over to the other side of the table where Michael was sitting. She slid into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s just something I need to do… for me”, she said. “I love you, Mike. I won’t be gone long.”

Michael closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. “I don’t want you to leave”, he said quietly.

“It’s just for a little while”, Allison said. “I just need to get my thoughts together. I’m going to go back to Michigan for a little while.”

Michael nodded. “Are you going to stay with your parents?”, he asked. “and are you sure you don’t want company?”

“I’m going to stay with my parents, maybe see some friends”, Allison said. “I love you Mike. I just need to get my thoughts together on my own.”

“When are you leaving?”, Michael asked.

“In a few days”, Allison replied. “I’m going to fly home with my mom.”

Michael hesitated. “Allie, I…” he began. He looked down at his hands, which were shaking. Everything inside him felt like it was shaking. “Did I do something wrong? Are you punishing me because I was late getting to the hospital?”

Allison jumped out of his lap and shot away. “Are you serious?”, she snapped. “Not everything is about you, Mike! You’re so self-centered!” 

“I… what?”, Michael asked. “I’m not self-centered. I just thought that…”

Allison glared at him. “You just thought about yourself”, she snapped. “You never cared about what I thought or how I was feeling!” She stormed out of the kitchen and upstairs.

Gail was standing in the doorway and Michael wondered how much she had heard. He hadn’t meant to hurt Allison. He would never intentionally hurt her. Whether she knew it in that moment or not, he would do anything to make her feel safe, taken care of, and happy. He looked up at Gail. “I’m sorry”, he said softly.

Gail smiled at him sadly. She put her hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Michael”, she said. “Allison is upset, but she shouldn’t have taken her frustration out on you.”

Michael nodded and wiped away a tear. He stood up and faced Gail. “I know”, he said. “It just hurts. I wish she would let me help her somehow. I um…I think I’m going to go for a drive. Unless you need me to stay?”

Gail smiled at him and pulled him in for a hug. “No, you go”, she said gently. “This week has been hard on you too. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Okay”, Michael said, forcing himself to smile. “I’m going to go upstairs to change, then I’m going to head out for a while.”

Michael was in the doorway of the kitchen, when Gail said. “She’s stubborn, but she loves you. This is all going to work out.”

Michael nodded. “I hope so”, he said.


	9. Chapter 9

Michael went upstairs to the bedroom to get ready for the day. Allison was in there packing. “Go away”, she said cooly. “I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“This is my room too”, he said quietly, evenly. “and I need to get clothes.” He rifled through his drawers and closet, and picked out a pair of jeans, a belt, and a shirt. 

Allison didn’t say anything.

“I’m going out”, Michael tried again.

“I don’t care”, Allison said, without looking up from her suitcase.

Michael went into the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed. He splashed some cold water on his face, then went downstairs to tell Gail that he was leaving. He felt pretty good about keeping his emotions in check that whole time. It wasn’t until he was in the car, and on the highway, that he started to cry. He cried for his child that he never got to meet, for Allison and for not being there for her. Mostly he cried for himself. He hated showing his emotions, and usually only cried when he was alone.

In his younger days, when he was upset about something, he usually went to Allison. He would sit on the big, comfy couch in her old apartment, or on the bench outside of Meadowbrook, lean on her shoulder and tell her everything. She would hug him, give him some tough love, and everything would be okay. Of course, this was before they were even dating, let alone married. Things were different then. She was always the one who made him feel better. What was he supposed to do when the one person who always took away his pain is the one who made him cry?

He continued to drive, and eventually made his way to Debbie’s house. He walked up to the front door, and walked in without knocking. He and his sisters always came in and out of Debbie’s house on their own, and Debbie was always happy to have company.

“Mom”, he called, as he walked through the front door. “Mama?”

“Kitchen!”, Debbie called back cheerfully. 

Michael walked into the kitchen and found Debbie and Whitney bustling around, baking with Taylor and Connor.

“Hi Michael!”, Debbie said. She could always tell when he was upset, and immediately rushed over to him. “Oh, you look terrible, Baby. What’s wrong?”

Michael pouted. “Thanks a lot, Ma”, he said.

Debbie pulled him close to her, and rubbed her hand along the nape of his neck where his hair was still slightly damp from his shower. “Tell me what’s wrong”, she said gently.

“Allie’s leaving”, he said softly, his face buried in Debbie’s shoulder. “She’s really mad at me, and I didn’t do anything.”

Debbie rubbed his back. “Let’s go in the living room”, she said, as she led him over to the couch. “What happened?”

Michael took a deep breath. “She said that she needs some space”, he said quietly. “She needs to think about everything that happened, and she needs to do it alone. Or, alone, but at her parents’ house.”

“She’s grieving, sweetie”, Debbie said gently. “Everyone handles grief differently.”

Michael nodded. “I know and I get that”, he said. “I just wish she would let me help her. I asked her if she was doing it to punish me for being late getting to the hospital, and she accused me of being self-centered.”

Debbie rubbed his back, as he sank down on the couch and put his head on her lap. “Michael Fred!”, she scolded. “You are not self-centered, and you and Allison both know that. She’s just upset. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I love her, Mom”, Michael said. “and I’ll do anything for her.”

Debbie continued to rub his back. “I know, sweetheart”, she said. “and Allie knows that too. If she needs some space, you have to give it to her.”

“I know”, Michael said. “I’m just scared that she’s not going to come back home.”

“You just have to have faith that she will, honey”, Debbie said. “Would you like something to eat? Whitney made french toast.”

Michael sat up and smiled. “Yeah”, he said. “French toast would be great.” He followed Debbie into the kitchen, and sat down to enjoy breakfast with his family.

When he went back home later that afternoon, Allison and Gail had gone out. When they got home in the evening, Allison didn’t seem interested in making conversation. That night, Michael slept on the couch. Whenever they talked over the next few days, it was stilted at best, downright cold at worst. Michael felt like his heart was breaking. He just wanted everything to be okay again.

He drove Gail and Allison to the airport, and after he said goodbye to Gail, she went ahead to print their boarding passes. Allison stayed behind, and she and Michael stood on the sidewalk, staring at each other somewhat awkwardly.

“I love you, Allison”, he said softly, as leaned over and gave her a hug.

“I love you, Michael”, Allison replied. “These past few days have been tough, but…we’re okay, right?”

Michael smiled. “Are you still mad at me?”, he asked.

Allison hugged him tighter. “I guess I never really was mad”, she said. “I was frustrated and upset. I took it out on you and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay”, Michael said. “are you sure you really want to do this?”

“It’s just something I need to do”, Allison said. “I won’t be gone long.”

Michael nodded. He waved as he watched her walk into the terminal. He climbed back into his car to begin the drive home. He knew that Debbie had been right. He just had to have faith that everything was going to work out.

As he drove, he scanned through the radio stations. He finally settled on a station that played softer music than he’d typically listen to, but after all that had happened over the past few days, he wanted something soothing.

After the commercials ended, and the music began again. The lyrics of the song that was playing made Michael think about everything that was going on in their lives. Allison had only been gone a few minutes, and he missed her already. He never got to meet his child, but he missed him or her too.

 

_There were photographs I wanted to take_  
_Things I wanted to show you_  
_Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes_  
_Who could love you like this?_  
_People say that I am brave but I'm not_  
_Truth is I'm barely hanging on_

 

By the time he got home and pulled into the driveway, tears were pouring down his cheeks. He went inside and immediately went into the office and turned on his computer. He looked up the lyrics of the song, downloaded it, and listened to it on repeat for the rest of the afternoon. He couldn’t stop thinking about Allison. His whole body hurt from crying, and his eyes were stinging. He wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk, but he figured that a text message couldn’t hurt.

 

**Michael [4:45 PM]:** Please listen to the song “I Will Carry You” by Selah. It made me think of you. I love you so much.

Allison didn’t reply until Michael was getting ready to go to bed.

**Allison [1:10 AM]:** Thank you. I love you.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention that the song that Michael tells Allison about is called "I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)" by Selah. That's how I got the title for this piece. :)

When Allison and Gail arrived at home in Michigan, her father Ralph, and her sisters Kari and Sara were waiting for them. They all had dinner together, then Allison went upstairs to her childhood bedroom.

She was having trouble falling asleep. She read Michael’s text message and listened to the song that he recommended. It made her sad, but it also brought her some peace. She missed Michael already, but didn’t want to be in Baltimore. She wanted to be in the comfort of her childhood home. Still, she appreciated that Michael thought to send her that message and even though she thought he might be asleep, she replied. She still felt guilty for snapping at him, and she wanted everything to be okay again. Curled up on her side, she tried again to fall asleep, then Kari knocked on her door. “Come in”, she called.

Kari walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. “Hey Al”, she said gently. “Are you okay?”

Allison shook her head. “Not really”, she admitted. “I’m still pretty upset about everything.”

“I’m so sorry, Al.”, Kari said gently, as she rubbed Allison’s arm. “I really wanted to be an auntie.”

Allison hugged her pillow to her chest. “I really wanted to be a mommy”, she replied.

“I know you did”, Kari said gently as she nodded. “and I’m so sorry. Did you ever think about any names?”

Allison shook her head. “No”, she said. “Well, I didn’t think of any until today. Michael sent me a song that he heard on the radio. It’s about losing a baby. It made me cry, but I read about it, and I guess the song was written about a baby who passed away who was named Audrey. I like that name.”

Kari nodded sympathetically. “It’s a pretty name”, she agreed. “So, where is Michael? He didn’t want to come with you?”

Allison shook her head. “It’s my fault”, she said. “I told him to stay home. He was really upset, and I was upset, and I said some things that I shouldn’t have. I love him, you know? I just needed to get away. I need some space and some time to grieve.”

“So, you just walked out on your husband?”, Kari asked incredulously. “You and Michael are the most disgustingly perfect couple ever, and you just left?”

Allison made a face and nodded. “I’m an idiot aren’t I?”, she asked. “Shit. Michael is so good to me, and I… Damn it.”

“You’re not an idiot, Al”, Kari said gently. “Maybe you shouldn’t have left, but I think I understand why you did. Talk to Michael. Tell him how you feel, and make sure he knows that you’re not going to be gone forever.”

Allison smiled. “Thanks, little sis”, she said.

“Any time, big sis!”, Kari said. “I love you. Try to get some sleep, okay?”

Allison nodded. “I’ll try”, she said.

***

She finally drifted off to sleep, and the next morning she let herself sleep a little bit longer than she normally would. It felt good to sleep in. Then she met up with an old friend from high school for a yoga session. After yoga, she went out for lunch, then went home to take a nap. After her nap, she went for a swim. In the evening, she had dinner with her family, then went out to the back porch to read. 

That was pretty much how most of her days in Michigan went. Eat, Sleep, Work out, repeat. Her family talked her into seeing a therapist, and talking about losing the baby helped her to grieve. She talked about her relationship with Michael, and how much she loved him. She realized that she had been unfairly projecting her pain onto him. It made her understand how much she had been hurting him, and she really missed him. She just didn’t think she was ready to go home yet.

Michael had tried calling the house a few times, but each time, a member of Allison’s family answered, and told him that Allison wasn’t ready to talk. 

The therapy helped, and she was trying to take some time each day to do some sort of exercise. She was beginning to feel like her old self again. The healing process was going to take a long time, but at least she was on her way. She thought about Michael and wondered how he was doing at home. She was proud of him for learning how to cook, so she knew that he wouldn't go hungry. He also had his family nearby, so he wouldn't be alone. She was jealous that his mother and sisters were just a short drive away from their house in Baltimore. He could see his family whenever he wanted. If she wanted to see her own family, she had to get on a plane. She felt guilty for being jealous of him for that. It wasn’t his fault that he had chosen to stay close to home, and she had chosen to move away to train and to stay when she married Michael. 

 

***

Michael was at Nationals with his swimmers, and when Allison watched some of the live stream, and saw him and his swimmers in interviews, she wished that she was there with him. He looked good. He looked happy. When he first started coaching, she had promised him that she would travel with him and his swimmers, and she hated that she had already broken that promise.

One afternoon, Allison was sitting in the living room, watching the races on her laptop. Gail came in to join her. “Hi honey”, she said. 

Allison looked up. “Oh, hey Mom”, she said, trying to sound cheerful. “I’m watching Nats.”

Gail nodded. “I can see that”, she said with a smile. “Do you miss it?”

Allison nodded. “I do”, she said. “I was ready to retire, but watching races makes me a little nostalgic. That’s why Michael started coaching. He retired, then un-retired, then took a break, then made another comeback, then retired again. Now he’s a coach. The water just… draws him in.”

Gail smiled. “Have you talked to him at all?”, she asked.

Allison shook her head. “I haven’t felt ready”, she said. “We’ve texted a few times though. I miss him.”

“How are his swimmers doing?”, Gail asked.

“They’re great kids”, Allison said. “He’s so proud of them, and it’s really nice to see. I watched some of their press conferences, and they’re all doing so well.”

Gail looked over Allison’s shoulder. The video was paused on one of Michael’s press conferences. “He looks good”, she commented.

Allison blushed. “He always looks good”, she replied.

Gail gestured towards Allison’s cell phone that was sitting on the table next to the computer. “Call him”, she said. “Call your husband and tell him you miss him.”

Allison picked up the phone and stared at it for a few seconds. “I don’t know…”, she said slowly.

“Call him”, Gail said again. She smiled warmly at her daughter, and walked out of the room.

Allison knew that her mother was right. She wasn’t ready to go back to Baltimore just yet, but she wanted Michael to know that she was thinking about him. She wanted him to know that she loved him.

She picked up her phone and speed-dialed Michael’s number. It went directly to voice mail. She figured that his phone was probably dead. He must have forgotten to charge it. Again. “Charge your phone, silly”, she mumbled to herself, with a laugh as she typed out a text message.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events of this chapter take place concurrently with the events of Chapter 10

Michael missed Allison more than he wanted to admit. He knew that he had to let her have her space, but it was getting to be too much for him. He wanted to hold his wife again. He had tried calling her parents’ house a few times, but each time, her parents and sisters answered the phone and told him that Allison didn’t want to talk. He tried to understand that, but if he were being honest with himself, he was getting really frustrated. He knew that Allison was upset and needed space to heal, but he was upset too, and when he was upset, he wanted, no - _needed_ \- to be with his wife.

He missed her, and it hurt to be away from her. He tried to push his worries aside and focus on his work. He was getting ready to travel to Nationals with his swimmers. He would have loved to bring Allison with him, but knew that it wasn’t possible. At least not this time.

The night before he left, he went over to Debbie’s house to have dinner with her and his sisters. He ended up staying much longer than he planned to, even long after his sisters had gone home. His mother’s home was so warm and inviting and he felt comfortable sitting in her big, open living room, drinking tea, and talking.

Debbie watched him carefully from the other side of the couch. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”, she asked him gently.

Michael nodded. “I’m okay”, he said. “I really miss Allie, but I can’t dwell on it. I have to concentrate on my work right now. I have to run a training session tomorrow, and then Nationals starts the next day. I have a ton of press conferences and stuff.”

“I just worry about you sometimes, Michael”, Debbie said. “You’re such a hard worker, but I’m concerned you’re pushing yourself too hard. I’m worried that your frustration with what’s going on with Allie is pushing you into overdrive.”

Michael nodded. He knew his mother was right. He had a tendency to push himself too far into his work, and even more so when he was upset. Sometimes it produced great results, but there were also times when he made himself sick from the stress. “I know”, he said. “I know I get too much in my own head sometimes, but working hard helps me to take my mind off of things.”

Debbie nodded. “Okay”, she said. “And you’re getting enough to eat, sleeping okay, and taking time to relax, right sweetie?”, she asked. “I want you to take care of yourself.”

Michael nodded, and couldn't help but to roll his eyes a little bit. “Yes, Mother”, he said. “I’m fine. I miss Allie, but I’m fine.”

Debbie leaned over and patted his cheek. “Such a good boy”, she said with a smile. “when you’re not rolling your eyes at me!”

Michael laughed for the first time since Allison left and smiled at his mother. He was so grateful for everything she had done for him throughout his life. He moved over to her side of the couch, and she wrapped her arm around him and drew him close. 

He dropped his head on her shoulder. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “I love you, Mom”, he said. “Thanks for letting me hang out here and for talking to me about everything.”

“Any time, sweetheart”, Debbie said, as she kissed his forehead. “You’re always welcome to come over and spend time with me.”

***

The next day, Michael left for Nationals. He and his swimmers sat through interviews and his swimmers swam well. He was so proud of them. Being the coach instead of the swimmer was still strange for him, even after all this time. He loved that he was still a part of the action, even after retirement. He had fun catching up with old friends. 

Some of his former teammates were there as spectators, and some of his younger teammates were still competing. He loved being there to cheer them on. He wished that Allison could be there with him. He thought about how much she would enjoy sitting in the stands with all of their friends, cheering on the swimmers.

During the break between Preliminaries and Finals on the last day of the competition, he went off by himself to call Allison. He knew that she wanted her space, but he missed her so much, and wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle being away from her. 

He was just about to duck behind the bleachers when he heard a voice behind him. It was Ryan Lochte. “Phelps!”, Ryan called out.

Michael turned around. He smiled when he saw Ryan. “Reezy!”, he exclaimed.

Ryan ran over to him and almost knocked him down with the impact of his hug. Both men slapped each other on the back. “How are you, man?”, he asked. “I haven’t seen you in ages! You look good.”

Michael smiled. “Looking pretty good yourself, Lochte!”, he said. “Who are you here with?”

“I’m working with the elite team at SwimMAC now”, he replied. “Crazy, right?”

Michael smiled. “It’s not crazy”, he said honestly. “They’re lucky to have you.”

“Thanks, MP”, Ryan said. “Your NBAC kids are looking great.”

Michael smiled. “Thanks”, he said. “They’re pretty awesome.”

“So…”, Ryan began. “I heard about what happened with Allie and the baby. I’m so sorry, Man.”

“Thanks”, Michael said. “I appreciate that.”

“So where is Allie?”, Ryan asked. “She didn’t make the trip with you?”

Michael frowned. “She went home to Michigan to stay with her family for a while”, he said. 

“Really?”, Ryan asked incredulously. “Everything okay between you two? I mean, if the world’s most perfect couple isn’t together, there’s no hope for the rest of us!”

Michael laughed. “Thanks, Reezy”, he said. “I think we’re okay. She just wanted some space to grieve. It was hard at first, but I’m trying to understand how she’s feeling.”

“Everything will be okay, Mike”, Ryan said kindly. “I know it will.”

“Thanks, Ry”, Michael said. “Good seeing you.”

“You too, Mike”, Ryan said. “Keep in touch, okay? Don’t be a stranger.”

“For sure”, Michael said. “Dinner on me next time we’re both in the same city?”

“Definitely”, Ryan said. “Say hi to Allie and your mom and everyone for me.

Michael smiled at his friend. “Will do”, he said. “Tell everyone on your end I said hi too.”

After Ryan walked away, Michael pulled his phone out of his pocket. He realized that it had been turned off all day. He turned it on and saw that Allison had already texted him.

“She probably thinks I forgot to charge it”, he thought to himself, as he recalled Allison’s constant reminders to charge his phone. He always forgot to charge his phone, and it always died. Allison had to give him several reminders a day to charge it. She kept him in line. All things considered, he was pretty proud of himself for keeping things in order at home. He was getting better and better at cooking dinner, and he hadn’t burned the house down yet. He figured that was a testament to how much he was learning about cooking, cleaning, and everything else that Allison always took over.

 

 **Allison [3:47 PM]:** The kids look great! Wish I was there with you. I miss you. Tell everyone I say hi.

 **Allison [3:49 PM]:** And charge your phone!

 **Allison [3:49 PM]:** Miss you and love you.

 

Michael burst out laughing, and typed out a response.

 

 **Michael [5:03 PM]:** hahaha I charged it I promise! forgot i turned it off. oops.

 **Michael [5:04 PM]:** Miss you so much. Come home soon. I love you.

 **Michael [5:06 PM]:** Oh! Ry says hi. He’s coaching the SwimMAC team now.

 

Michael smiled as he read over Allison’s messages again. Hearing from Allison had made him feel a lot better. It was the first time since she went to Michigan that she had been the one to initiate contact. That had to be a good sign. He had a few minutes before Finals were going to start, so he texted Debbie. He knew that she preferred to get a real phone call. It’s more personal, she always says, but he was in a rush, so he figured it was better than nothing.

 

 **Michael [5:10 PM]:** Just saying hi. Got a message from Allie and I feel a lot better today. Saw Ry. Miss u and love u. I’ll call u for real after finals tonite.

Debbie replied right away.

 **Debbie [5:10 PM]:** U Better! :) Love u honey! Have fun.

Michael laughed as he slid his phone back into his pocket. Things were only going to get better from here.


	12. Chapter 12

After the conclusion of Nationals, Michael went back home to Baltimore. He was happy about how well things had gone. His swimmers had done well and he was proud of them. On his first night back home, he went over to Debbie’s house for dinner. 

The two of them sat in comfortable silence for most of their meal. “Are you okay, honey?”, Debbie asked, for what Michael thought was the hundredth time in the past few weeks.

“Mom, I’m okay, I promise”, Michael said. “I’m just tired. I’m okay.”

After they ate and finished cleaning up, they sat back down at the table. Debbie had been watching Michael carefully ever since he walked into the house earlier that evening. She frowned and shook her head. “Michael Fred”, she said. “You don’t have to pretend to be so strong. Have you dealt with your feelings about everything that’s been happening?”

Michael looked down at the table and shook his head. He knew that he couldn’t hide it any longer. He couldn’t stop the tear that had started to make it’s way down his cheek. Debbie sprang up from her chair, and rushed over to his side of the table. “Oh, honey”, she said softly.

“I’m sorry”, Michael said between sobs, as he buried his face on Debbie’s shoulder.

“What are you sorry for?”, Debbie asked.

“I hate crying”, Michael mumbled.

Debbie gently rubbed his back. “It’s okay, Baby”, she said. “It’s okay. Everything is going to work out.”

“I lost my kid and I lost Allie”, Michael said softly.

Debbie shook her head. “You didn’t lose Allie, sweetie”, she said. “She loves you so much. You two are going to get through this. Why don’t you go rest for a while?”

Michael nodded and went into the living room. In a matter of minutes, he fell asleep on the couch. Debbie kissed his cheek, covered him with a blanket, and let him sleep. He didn’t wake until morning.

When Michael got up, Debbie made him some breakfast. When they finished eating, she asked him again how he was feeling. After she prodded him for answers, he finally admitted to her - and to himself - how tired he was, and she convinced him to take a few days for himself. He talked to Bob, and he agreed that Michael was overtired and overworked and needed a break.  
He went back to his house that evening, unpacked, and fell asleep again. He slept in until noon the next day, then got up to do a few things around the house. He was pretty pleased with how nice the house looked when he finished cleaning. Even though he had been sleeping a lot, he was still exhausted.

Allison had been gone for a month.

The stress was getting to be too much. He needed to get out of the house. That night, he walked to the little restaurant down the street from the house. He sat at the bar and devoured a plate of mozzarella sticks, and a couple of beers. He silently vowed to spend some extra time at the gym the next day to make up for it.

He took his time drinking his beer, and made small talk with the other patrons. He was halfway through the beer, when a woman who Michael guessed was probably in her early twenties meandered over to him. She was wearing a tiny dress that looked more like a shirt, and based on her behavior, she had probably been drinking a lot. She draped herself over Michael’s shoulders. “Hey… you’re that swimmer guy, right?”, she slurred. She reminded him of some of the girls he dated or hooked up with when he was in his early twenties himself, and had made some….questionable choices. He nodded, and held up his left hand, displaying the silver band on his ring finger. He swallowed the lump in his throat and moved it up and down with the tip of his thumb, and smiled weakly. The girl took the hint, and went on her way.

The guy next to him watched her go, and turned to Michael and said, “Hey man, if you don’t want her, I’ll take her!”

“I’m married”, Michael said quietly. “I love my wife.”

“And yet, you’re in a dive bar, by yourself on a week night, crying into a plate of mozzarella sticks”, the guy said.

“I love my wife”, Michael said again. “and we may not be in the same state right now, but we went through too much to get together. I could never throw that away.”

The guy shrugged. “Suit yourself”, he said, and hopped off the bar stool and went on his way, presumably in search of the “wearing a shirt as a dress” girl.

Michael paid his check, and walked home. He went to put his key in the front door, and noticed that it was already unlocked. He cursed himself for forgetting to lock the door. That’s the kind of thing that Allison would have reminded him to do if she had been at home.

He opened the door, and sighed as he tossed his keys on the table by the door. The combination of being stressed about the situation with Allison, and eating too much at the bar made his stomach hurt, so he collapsed onto the couch, and hoped that resting for a few minutes would settle it.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and heard movement in the kitchen. Startled, he sat up quickly, and groaned when he was hit with a wave of nausea. “Hello?”, he called out, as he slowly walked towards the kitchen.

Allison was standing at the counter, making cookies. Michael rubbed his eyes, convinced that this was part of a dream. Sure enough, it wasn’t, and Allison was actually standing there. She was wearing yoga pants and an old NBAC t-shirt. Her curly hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She was humming quietly to the song playing on the iPod on the counter. Michael stood back for a moment to admire how beautiful she looked. He thought about how stunning she looked at their wedding, on their first date, and the first day they met, and every day in between. He got a bit choked up thinking about it. It was moments like this, when she was dressed casually and dancing in their kitchen when Michael thought she was at her most beautiful. He thought she was beautiful, smart, funny, and kind, and still couldn’t believe that she had chosen to marry him. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. When he thought he lost her, it broke his heart. Now she was here, back at home. Michael couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Schmitty?” he called out softly.

Allison turned around. She broke out into a huge grin. Michael loved her smile. He had seen that smile almost every day for so many years, and it always made his heart skip a beat, and his insides feel warm. Her smile felt like home to him. She always had a smile for everyone. It was her goofy grin - the one right after he caught her doing something silly - that smile was just for him. 

“Mike!”, she cried, as she ran over to him.

She ran into his arms, and for a moment, they just stood in silence, hugging tightly in the kitchen.

“I didn’t know you were coming home today!”, Michael said softly. He was surprised and happy and his eyes filled with tears.

Allison smiled. “I didn’t know either, to be honest”, she said. “I just missed you so much, and suddenly… I was ready. I booked a ticket, flew home, and took a cab to get here. I was going to call you, to tell you that I was on my way, but when I was waiting for my connecting flight in Newark that I decided that I wanted to surprise you. You weren't home when I got here. I was worried.”

Michael nodded. “Yeah”, he said. “I’m sorry I made you worry. I needed to get out of the house for a bit, so I went down the street to get an appetizer and a couple drinks. I’m going to need to put in an extra workout tomorrow to make up for it, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Allison laughed and rolled her eyes. “You’re perfect”, she said. “You look really good, actually.”

Michael laughed. “Thanks, Schmitty”, he said. “I worked out a lot while you were away. It helped me deal with the stress. I’m feeling pretty good. I’m just really regretting those mozzarella sticks.”

“I did a lot of yoga while I was in Michigan”, Allison said. “It really helped with the healing process. It took my mind off of things. It made me feel really good too.”

Every bad feeling Michael had felt over the past several weeks began to melt away. He pulled Allison into his arms, and never wanted to let go. “You’re beautiful”, he said softly. “and I’m so happy you’re home.”

“I love you”, Allison said. “and I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

Michael nodded. “You leaving really, really sucked”, he said honestly. “I was… I was really scared. I was worried that you were going to leave me forever.”

Allison tightened her grip around Michael. “I’m so sorry”, she said. “I was just so upset about everything and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’m sorry I called you self-centered. You are the least self-centered person I know.”

Michael nodded. “It really hurt when you said that”, he admitted. “but I understand now that you were hurting, and you were frustrated. The thing is, I was hurting too, and I wanted to be with my wife.”

“I know”, Allison said. “For what it’s worth, I felt really guilty about it the whole time I was gone.”

“I don’t want you to feel guilty, Allie”, Michael said. softly “I just wanted you to be here.”

“Yeah”, Allison said. “I talked with my family and friends while I was away, and they all told me I was wrong to leave you. I saw a therapist while I was in Michigan, and she and my mom both convinced me to get in touch with you that day I texted you at Nationals.”

“I was glad you did”, Michael said. “So, therapy?”

Allison nodded. “It really helped”, she said. “I’m going to start seeing a therapist here too.”

“Good”, Michael said, nodding. “and what about work?”

“I called my boss”, Allison said. “I talked to him a lot during this whole ordeal, actually. They’re holding my job for me. I’m going to take the rest of the summer off, then I’m going to go back at the beginning of the new school year.”

Michael nodded. “Is that what you want?”, Michael asked. “If you don’t want to work, you don’t have to. We’re doing fine financially.”

“I know”, Allison said. “But I want to. I love my job, and I want to be able to contribute to the household.”

Michael smiled. “Okay”, he said. “I’m going to support you no matter what. You know that, right?”

Allison smiled, as she bent down and pulled the cookies out of the oven. “I know”, she said “Cookie?”

Michael put his hand on his stomach. He made a face. “Maybe tomorrow”, he said with a little laugh. “I ate too much earlier.”

Allison nodded. “Okay”, she said. “Do you want to go up to bed?”

Michael smiled. “I do”, he said softly as he took her by the hand. “Let’s go to bed.”

As they climbed into bed, Michael pulled Allison close to him. He held her in his arms, and she snuggled against his bare chest. Everything felt good again. It felt normal. He drifted off to sleep with his wife in his arms, and slept better than he had in weeks.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, Allison and Michael woke up, and prepared to start their day. Since they both had some time off from work, they decided to take a trip together to celebrate their reunion. Michael had booked a private plane to Punta Cana, and he found a vacation package for four days at an all-inclusive resort. They left a few days later.

Their room had a private plunge pool and a hot tub on the roof, and a swim up entrance from the main pool. They spent a week sun-bathing on the beach, swimming in the ocean, eating a lot, and enjoying each other’s company.

Spending some time together in a beautiful place, at a posh resort, talking, and catching up helped them to strengthen their marriage. It gave them some time to talk about some things that they both had on their minds. Allison apologized again for leaving, and Michael promised her that he understood, even though it had hurt him at the time.

On their last night before going home, they went for a long walk along the beach. They sat down on the sand in a secluded area of the beach, and looked up at the stars, as they held each other’s hands.

“I love you so much, Allison”, Michael said, glancing over at her as he laid down in the sand.

Allison laid down next to him and put her arm around his waist. “I love you too, Mike”, she said.

Michael put his arm around her, and with his other hand, he pointed towards the sky. “The North Star”, he said quietly.

Allison nodded, as she looked up to where he was pointing, and snuggled closer to him. “Mmm”, she said. “The stars are pretty.”

“You’re my North Star, Allison”, Michael said softly, as he played with her hair. “You’re my wife, but above all else, you’re my best friend. You are my home, and if we’re ever apart again, I want you to look up at the sky. When you see the North Star, I hope you’ll think of me, and know that I’m looking at it too. If we’re looking at the same night sky, we’re never alone.”

“I love you”, Allison said in response. “I’m always with you, and I hope we’re never apart again.

 

***

The next day, Allison and Michael flew back to Baltimore. Michael still had a few more days left of his time off, so he and Allison spent it taking long walks, cuddling on the couch, and cooking together.

Allison was amazed and pleased at how nice the house looked from all of Michael’s “stress cleaning” marathons. “Mike, the house looks great”, she commented one afternoon. “You got a lot done while I was gone.”

Michael hesitated. “Well, yeah”, he said. “I had to do something to take my mind off of everything. I missed you so much and I was trying to distract myself. It was really hard without you. I really wasn’t doing too well.”

“I’m really sorry, honey”, Allison said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know that, right?”

Michael nodded and slipped his arm over her shoulders. “I know”, he said quietly. “I was just so upset about losing the baby, and then when you left I was scared I was going to lose you too.”

“You’re never going to lose me, Mike”, she said. “and I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s okay, sweetie”, Michael said. “You’re my whole world. I missed you so much while you were gone. I kind of… fell apart without you, and then…”

“And then you got into your own head and made yourself sick from the stress?”, Allison finished with a small smile. “I know you.”

Michael laughed ruefully. “That you do”, he agreed. “and yeah, Bob and my mom were both really worried about me. You know how they are. I mean, I’m better now, but yeah… the stress was a little to much to handle. The entire time you were gone, I pretty much just kept busy with housework and working out.”

Allison laughed. “At least your stress meant that the house got cleaned”, she offered as she leaned against him and rubbed his stomach with her thumb. “and you look really good too.”

Michael laughed too. Allison’s gentle touch, made him feel like he was going crazy. He felt like all of the blood was rushing to his head. “Thanks, baby”, he said. “You look great too.”

Allison leaned against him. “I feel really good”, she said. “I’m happier and more relaxed. Therapy has been good for me, and I love yoga.”

“You should talk to Hil”, Michael said. “She’s always trying different workouts and she said they help with her mood and energy, and she looks amazing too.”

“I will”, Allison said. “Maybe I can talk her into going to some classes with me. Although, she’s probably a lot more advanced than I am.”

“I think she’d love to go with you”, Michael replied.

Allison smiled. “Great”, she said. “I’ll give her a call this week.”

“I really, really missed you”, Michael said softly.

“I missed you too”, Allison said gently. “So, let’s make a pact. Anytime either of us is stressed out or upset about something, we have to talk to each other about it.”

Michael smiled. “Deal”, he said. “I love you Schmitty.”

“Love you more, MP”, Allison replied, leaning over to kiss him, her hand still brushing against his soft skin.

Michael deepened the kiss and ran his hand under her shirt and up and down the warm skin of her back. “Do you want to take this up to the bedroom?”, he whispered.  
Allison nodded and Michael took her hand to help her off the couch. They made their way up to the bedroom, removing clothing as they went.

As they fell back on the bed, Michael held her tightly, as he took in the beauty of his amazing wife. Her body, both slim and strong fit perfectly in the crook of his arm. The sound of her laughter made his heart skip a beat. 

She shifted her hips so that they were flush with Michael’s. Her curly auburn hair cascaded over her shoulders and brushed against Michael’s bare chest. He breathed in, overtaken by the redolence of her usual perfume and the rosemary-mint shampoo she had taken to using lately. It was intoxicating. It made his stomach curl with happiness and his heart skip a beat or two. He loved his wife so much, and was so happy to hold her in his arms once more.


	14. Chapter 14

When they finished, they laid in bed together in their darkened bedroom, still holding each other. Michael gently stroked her arm. “I love you, Schmitty”, he whispered.

“I love you so much”, Allison replied.

“Do you remember our first kiss?”, Michael asked suddenly.

Allison smiled into the darkness. “I do”, she said fondly. “It was right before London. You had just had a fight with Bob. We were standing in the parking lot at Meadowbrook. You said to me, ‘Schmitty, I don’t think I can do this’, and I said, ‘Michael Fred, you get your butt in gear’, then you kissed me.”

Michael laughed. “You were always my biggest cheerleader”, he said.

“I don’t know about that”, Allison said. “I think your mom has me beat.”

“You may be right about that”, Michael agreed.

“Mike?”, Allison began.

Michael gently ran his fingers through the tangled web of her curls. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”, he asked.

“Nothing’s wrong”, Allison said carefully. “I just want to talk to you about something.”

“Okay”, Michael said. 

“I want to swim again”, Allison said. “I want to compete.”

“Let’s make it happen”, Michael replied.

“That’s it?”, Allison asked. “All you can say is, ‘let’s make it happen’? No ‘Allie, you’re crazy’?, no ‘what the hell is wrong with you?’. You’re okay with this?”

“If it makes you happy, then yes”, Michael replied. “I um… do you want to join the NBAC group again? It would mean I’d be your coach.”

“No, that’s perfect”, Allison said. “That’s what I need. You’re tough. You work the kids really hard. That’s what I need.”

“Okay”, Michael said. “What about work?”

“I think I have to leave my job”, Allison said. “I mean, I love it. I just don’t think I’ll have time for it. If I want to make Tokyo happen, I need to put in as much training time as I can. I’m sorry.”

“Allie, no”, Michael said. “You don’t ever have to apologize for the things you love. If you want to quit your job to train, I’m going to support you. If you want to work full-time, as well as train, that’s fine too.

“I want to quit my job”, Allison said quietly. “I know it will suck for us financially, but I think it’s what I need to do. I want to go to the Olympics, and I need to work hard to make that happen.”

“Money isn’t an issue, sweetie”, Michael said. “We’re going to be fine.”

“Thanks, Mike”, Allison said quietly. “I love you so, so much.”

Michael kissed her shoulder and held her close to him. “Anything for you, My Schmitty”, he said softly. “I love you to death and I will do anything I can to make sure that you’re happy.”

“Will you help me make a training plan?”, Allison asked.

“Of course I will”, Michael replied. “What goals do you have that you want to work on?”

“I want a world record”, Allison said. “I want to focus on the 400 and 800 free. And um… maybe the 1500?”

Michael smiled. “Ambitious”, he replied. “I love it.”

“Do you think I can do it?”, Allison asked.

“I think you can do anything you set your mind to”, Michael said. “Setting goals is so important. Once you know what you want, we can work on how to get you there, and we will get you there.”

“You know how much I love Katie”, Allison said. “But I want that 400 free world record.”

Michael laughed. “We’ll see what we can do”, he said. “Can I ask you something?”

“You want to know why I’m doing this”, Allison replied.

“Well, yeah”, Michael admitted. “You miss it, huh?”

Allison nodded. “Yeah”, she said. “I miss competing. Being in the water was always so much fun for me. Losing the baby made me realize how precious life is. I want to chase my dreams. Plus, if I start training again, I can get back in shape.”

Michael nodded. “That’s one thing I really miss about training”, he said. “Training gave me a reason to work out every day. Nowadays, I’m lucky if I work out every other day.”

“Are you kidding?”, Allison asked incredulously. “have you seen yourself? You look great.”

Michael blushed. “Well, if I make a conscious effort, then yeah”, he said. “I just mean, it’s not as structured as it once was. Maybe I’ll train with you!”

“You’re going to make another comeback?”, Allison asked with a laugh.

“Hell no!”, Michael exclaimed. “I’m done. I just mean that if I do some of your workouts with you, it will force me to stay in shape.”

Allison rolled her eyes. “Michael Fred”, she scolded. “You’re perfect.”

Michael leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I love you, sweetie”, he said.

“I love you more”, Allison replied.

 

***

The next morning, Allison and Michael made breakfast together, and sat in the kitchen eating and talking.

“So, about what we discussed last night”, Allison began. “You’re okay with it?”

Michael nodded. “I’m okay with anything that makes you happy”, he replied. “When do you want to get started?”  
“Next week”, Allison replied. “I want to get going soon, but not like, this very second.”

Michael laughed. “Done”, he said. 

Allison stood up and put their dishes in the dishwasher, and came back to the table to start wiping it off. Before she could start, Michael wound an arm around her waist, and pulled her into his lap. “I’m so proud of you, Schmitty”, he said.

Allison leaned on his shoulder and touched his arm. “Thank you for being so understanding”, she said.

“Anything for you”, Michael replied.

“What do you want to do today?”, Allison asked.

“Well, first things first”, Michael said. “I need to go for a run. After that, the day is all ours. Did you have anything in mind?”

“I think I want to finally plant some flowers in the backyard”, Allison replied. “I bought some seeds for a few different perennial flowers. We can plant them now and they’ll bloom every year.”

“Every time they bloom, it will make us think of our child”, Michael replied, watching Allison carefully.

Allison smiled. “My thoughts exactly”, she said. “Want to help me plant them?”

“I do”, Michael said with a nod. “Just let me run then shower. When I’m done, we can get started.”

“Perfect”, Allison replied. She gave him a kiss, then slid off his lap. “I’ll go find the seeds I bought, and change into some yard work clothes.”  
 “Okay”, Michael said. 

Allison opened a drawer in the kitchen, and flipped through it to find her seeds, and Michael changed into his workout clothes and went out for his run.

When he came back, an hour or so later, he went upstairs to shower, and came back down in an old pair of jeans and a faded blue Michigan t-shirt. “Ready?”, he asked.

Allison showed him the packets of seeds. “Let’s do it”, she replied, as she went out to the yard with Michael following closely behind.


	15. Chapter 15

Over the next few months, Michael helped Allison get ready for competition. She spent two hours a day, six days per week working out. Between daily swims and drylands training, she was in the best shape of her life. She was the happiest and healthiest she had ever been. Hilary had offered to be her workout buddy, and she happily accepted.

She picked the Pro Swim Series at Santa Clara as her comeback meet. She was going to swim in the 200, 400, and 800 free. She really wanted to go for the 1500, but Michael encouraged her to start with just three meets this time. She had tried to protest, but having her stubborn husband as her coach meant making a few compromises.

***

“Ow”, Allison moaned as she limped into the house after a workout session with Hilary. “Ow. Ow”.

Michael laughed. “Everything okay, sweetie?”. he asked.

“Ow”, Allison replied. “I’m going to kill your sister.”

“What happened?”, Michael asked, as he stood up and helped her over to the couch.

“Working out with Hilary. Pain.”, Allison groaned.

“I thought you liked it”, Michael said.

“Oh, I love it”, Allison replied. “I feel great, but it hurts. Fuck.”

Michael helped her lie down on the couch. “Get some rest, baby”, he said gently as he kissed the top of her head. “Are you hungry?”

“Fooood”, Allison replied blissfully.

Michael laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes”, he replied. “I’ll order something for dinner.”

“Thank you, baby”, Allison called from her spot on the couch.

When Michael came back into the living room, he joined Allison on the couch. He leaned against her and held her tightly. “Pizza’s on the way”, he said.

“You’re a terrible influence”, Allison replied. “I love you.”

Michael kissed the top of her head. “I want you to treat yourself”, he said. “and I love you too.”

“What time do I have to get started tomorrow?”, she asked.

“Don’t worry about it”, Michael said with a smile. “You’re taking tomorrow off.”

“Mike”, Allison began.

“No arguing”, Michael replied with a smile. “I’m in charge of your training, and you need a break.”

Allison rested her head on his chest. “You’re the best”, she said. “I love you so much.”

The ringing doorbell interrupted their cuddle session. “Food”, Michael said, as he stood up to answer the door.

Allison grabbed his hand. “Don’t get up”, she whined.

“Food”, Michael repeated. “I’ll be back.”

When Michael returned to the living room with the food, Allison’s face lit up. He set the boxes on the coffee table and Allison dug right in.

“Need a plate, baby?”, Michael asked, trying to hide his smile.

“Nah”, Allison mumbled through a mouthful of pizza.

“Save some for me”, Michael said with a laugh as Allison grabbed her third slice.

Michael sat down on the couch to join her, and they ate together. When they were both full, Michael put the rest of the food in the refrigerator for later. 

“Thanks for doing that, Mike”, Allison said.

“Anything for you, sweetheart”, Michael replied. 

“I’ll be back”, Allison replied.

Allison went upstairs and Michael heard the shower turn on. He called up an episode of No Reservations on Netflix, and leaned back on the couch and shut his eyes. When he opened his eyes, he looked up and saw Allison standing at the top of the stairs wearing nothing but a tiny slip made of satin and lace.

Michael ascended the stairs, and took her in his arms. “Allie”, he said softly.  
“I wanted to look sexy for you”, she said, grinning wickedly.  
Michael placed his hand on her back, and rubbed her soft warm skin. He ran his thumb along the strap of her slip. “Baby”, he said. “You are so beautiful. You could wear a paper bag, and you would still be the sexiest woman alive.”

Allison blushed. “Thanks, Mike” she said. “but a lacy slip is so much hotter.”

“Not gonna argue with you on that”, Michael said. He lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom. He gently placed her on the bed. “You look so beautiful, love.”

“Thanks Mike”, Allison said. “I bought this the other day because I wanted to treat myself… and you…”

The lights in the bedroom were low, and Allison had lit candles. Soft music was playing from her laptop on the dresser. 

“Baby”, Michael whispered. “What’s this?”

Allison blushed deeper. “I thought we could have some fun tonight”, she said. “I’ve been so busy with training, we haven’t really had a lot of time to…”

Michael nodded. It had been a long time. “I love you so much, Allison”, he said.

“Yeah yeah”, Allison said laughing and waving him off. “I love you too. Shut up and get naked.”

“So bossy”, Michael teased. He took off his clothes, and tossed them into the laundry basket.

“Get over here”, Allison commanded, beckoning him with her finger.

Michael climbed into bed next to her. Allison rolled over on her side to face him. He rested the back of his hand on the pillow, and cupped her neck. With his other hand, he gently lifted the hem of her slip, and rested his hand on the curve of her hip. Her skin felt warm and soft beneath his fingertips. “Baby”, he whispered.

“Feels good”, Allison said, as she pressed up against Michael. Her body buckled and her hips jolted involuntarily. “Shit, Mike.” She bent her head and mouthed at the skin beneath his earlobe. Her mouth traveled down his neck and she swirled her tongue around the indent of his shoulder blade. She knew how much he liked that.

“Schmitty”, Michael groaned. He grasped her hips and shifted so that they were flush with his and allowed himself to enter her. He thrusted, moving in and out as he tried to find just the right spot.

Her stomach clenched. She felt like her eyes were rolling back in her head. She arched her back and squeezed tightly around him. She dug her nails into Michael’s bare back. “Fuck!”, she shouted. “That’s it. Right there.”

Michael felt the blood coursing through his veins, and could almost hear it buzzing in his ears. He felt like the music was getting louder and the walls were closing in as he teetered closer to the edge. The want of her shot through his body as he writhed beneath her touch.

Allison moaned as Michael thrust into her again. He gasped her name, and her entire body jolted again. She was close, so close. “Mike…”, she choked out as she flew over the edge.

Moments later, they lay naked, covered in only a sheet. “That was…”, Michael began, unsure of how to verbalize his feelings.

“Yeah”, Allison said with a smile as she leaned over and kissed his collarbone. She ran her hand along his chest and gently pinched at his nipple. “Yeah.”

Michael’s stomach clenched again. “Let’s never let it go that long again”, he said blissfully.

“Agreed”, Allison said with a smile.


	16. Chapter 16

Michael and Allison did their best to make some more time for each other, but in the days leading up to Santa Clara, Allison was too nervous to do much of anything.

The night before their flight, Debbie had invited them over for dinner. When they entered the house, Debbie took one look at Allison, and gasped. She clamped her hands on Allison’s shoulders and held her at arms length so she could admire her daughter-in-law. “Oh sweetheart”, she said. “Look at you! You look wonderful. You’re so strong!”

Allison blushed. “Thanks, Debbie”, she said. “Mike’s a good coach. He keeps me in shape.”

“She looks amazing, doesn’t she, Ma?” Michael agreed. “She’s doing so well with her training.”

“I love you both”, Debbie said. “Come in. Come in. I have a wonderful feast prepared for you.”

Debbie had made pasta sautéed with broccoli rabe and sausage, mixed with olive oil and crushed red pepper. She had picked up a loaf of french bread from the bakery, and made a tossed salad.

The three of them sat down to eat. “This is delicious, Debbie!”, Allison said, as she devoured her dinner. “Thank you so much for having us.”

“You’re so welcome, sweetie”, Debbie said, as she served Allison another helping of pasta. “I love it when you two come to see me.”

Across the table, Michael was struggling to eat his first helping. He had been complaining about a stomachache earlier that day, and as far as Allison knew, he hadn’t eaten all day.

“Michael, sweetie”, Debbie said. “Eat up.”

“I guess I’m just not very hungry”, Michael said quietly. “Sorry, Mom.”

“What’s wrong?”, Debbie asked, looking alarmed.

“It’s nothing”, Michael said. “I’m just not feeling that great. I’m fine.”

“He has a stomachache, Debbie”, Allison cut in. “I’ll make sure he’s okay.”

When Michael and Allison were getting ready to leave, Debbie gave them both a hug. “Allie, good luck in Santa Clara”, she said. “Michael. You need to get some rest so you’re ready to coach this weekend.”

Michael nodded. “I know, Ma”, he said, as he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. “I love you.”

Back at home, Allison and Michael were sitting on the floor of the living room and Michael gently massaged her shoulders. “You’re going to do great”, he assured her, as he leaned down to kiss her neck. “You’ve been working so hard and I’m incredibly proud of you.”

“Thank you”, Allison said. “For everything.”

“You’re going to blow them all away”, Michael replied. He leaned back against the couch, with his hand splayed across his stomach.

“Are you feeling okay?”, Allison asked him.

“I’ll be fine, Michael said. “I’m going to go upstairs and go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Do you need anything, babe?”, Allison asked.

Michael shook his head. “I just need to rest”, he assured her. “I’m fine, Allie.” He went upstairs and climbed into bed. His stomach was churning, and all he wanted to do was sleep.

When Allison went upstairs to join him a little while later, Michael was sound asleep. She climbed into bed next to him and kissed his forehead. His cheeks were flushed, and his skin felt hot.

“Mike”, she whispered. “Baby, wake up. You have a fever.”

Michael awoke with a start. He was dizzy and disoriented. Sleeping had only made him feel worse. His stomach was jumping, and there was a burning sensation rising in his throat. He knew that he wasn’t going to make it across the hall. He leaned over and threw up in the trash can next to the bed.

Allison leaned over and rubbed his back. “Baby”, she whispered. “Are you okay?”

Michael clutched his stomach and moaned. “Hurts”, he whined.

Allison stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed. She took his hands in hers. “Baby, your hands are icicles”, she exclaimed. 

“Bathroom”, Michael weakly replied.

Allison pulled him off of the bed, and struggled to lead him to the bathroom across the hall. His body felt limp, and it was hard for her to keep him up. Suddenly, she had one hundred and ninety pounds to support.

She got him into the bathroom, and he sank to the floor. Allison found the thermometer in the medicine cabinet and instructed him to open his mouth so she could take his temperature.

“Sit up”, she ordered, as his limp body sank against the bathtub. When the time was up  
she took the thermometer from his mouth and looked at it. “Fuck. Let’s get you back to bed.”

Sweat was pouring down Michael’s face. “My skin feels gross”, he whined, as he leaned over and threw up again.

“Baby, you barely touched your dinner”, she said gently. “There can’t be anything left in your stomach.”

Michael moaned and sank onto the floor again. “Everything hurts”, he whined. “I feel like I’m dying.”  
Against her better judgement, Allison laughed softly and Michael made a face at her. “I think you’ll survive”, she said softly. “The flu has been going around. Get some rest. It will pass.”

“Santa Clara”, Michael said softly.

Their flight was leaving soon. Allison looked at the clock in the hallway. They had to be at the airport in an hour. “My comeback can wait”, Allison said gently, as she stroked Michael’s back.

Michael shook his head. “Go”, he said. “It’s too important for you to miss.”

“Mike, no”, Allison said. “I’m not leaving you here.”

“Allie, please”, Michael said. “You’ve worked too hard to give it up. Go to Santa Clara. If I make it through this flu, I’ll be there for you at Nationals.”

“But Mike”, Allison began.

Michael shook his head, as he winced in pain. “No buts, Al”, he said. “The car will be here any minute. Go to the airport. Go to Santa Clara.”

Allison began to cry. “I can’t do this without you”, she said softly.

Michael struggled to his feet. “You can”, he said, taking her hands. “It’s just you and the pool. It’s all up to you now.”

“Baby”, Allison said through her tears. “I can’t leave you like this.”

“It’s fine”, Michael said again, sinking down onto the edge of the tub.

“I’m calling your mom”, Allison said.

“Go”, Michael said. “Good luck, baby.”

“I love you, baby”, Allison said. “Do you need any help?”

Michael shook his head. “I’m just going to lie here for a while”, he said weakly. Allison knelt down on the floor to give him a kiss, but Michael stopped her. “You’ll get sick.”

Allison settled for squeezing his shoulder, and she kissed the top of his head. “Feel better”, she whispered. She picked up her suitcase from the hallway, and slung her purse over her shoulder. She took her phone out of her pocket and dialed Debbie’s number as she heard Michael heaving again in the bathroom.

“Hi Allie!”, Debbie’s cheerful voice came on the line. “Are you on your way to the airport?”

“I’m waiting for the car to get here”, Allison said. “but Debbie, you need to come over. There’s something wrong with Michael.”

Debbie sighed. “I knew something was wrong”, she said. “What’s going on?”

“He’s been throwing up all night”, Allison said. “He has a fever.”

“Is he whining?”, Debbie asked laughing slightly.

Allison laughed. “Oh yeah”, she said. “You know him.”

“Has he eaten anything?”, Debbie asked.

“No”, Allison said. “Just the little bit that he ate at dinner last night. I wanted to stay home and skip the meet to take care of him, but he told me to go.”

“You’ll be fine, Allison”, Debbie said. “Go to California. I’ll take care of Michael.”

“Okay”, Allison said. “Thank you, Debbie. Keep me updated.” 

She climbed into the waiting car, and headed for the airport. When she arrived, she checked in, and went to her gate. When her flight was called, she stepped onto the plane. As the plane took off, she glanced at the empty seat next to her where Michael should have been sitting. She wished that he could have been there with her. Stupid flu ruining everything.

When she got off the plane, she texted Michael to check in.

 

**Allison [11:15 AM Pacific Time]:** I love you. Feel better.

**Michael [2:20 PM Eastern Time]:** Still feel crappy. Mom is here. I love you

**Allison [11:22 AM Pacific Time]:** Feel better honey. Going to the hotel now.

**Michael [2:24 PM Eastern Time]:** Press Conference?

**Allison [11:26 AM Pacific Time]:** Yep. They all wanna hear about the big comeback. I’m kinda nervous.

**Michael [2:28 AM Eastern Time]:** You’re gonna do great. Love you baby.

**Allison [11:30 AM Pacific Time]:** Love you too. get some rest.

**Michael [2:32 PM Eastern Time]:** Going to try. Mom made soup. might try to eat later.

**Allison [11:34 AM Pacific Time]:** Good. I hope you feel okay. I’ll call you tonight.

 

Allison slipped her phone into the back pocket of her jeans, and headed to her hotel so she could get ready to do her press conference alone. She wished that Michael was going to be with her, but had to prove to herself that she could make it through this weekend on her own.


	17. Chapter 17

Michael had asked one of his assistant coaches to keep an eye on the team for him in Santa Clara. He had even asked Ryan if he could check in with Allison for him as long as it didn’t take away any time from his Swim MAC swimmers.

He was miserable. He still hadn’t been able to eat anything and he missed Allison. Debbie had come over to take care of him, and while he was grateful for the company, he hated being fussed over.

***

Allison sat nervously at the table looking out at the members of the press waiting to talk to her. She smiled, hoping that no one would know that she was terrified.

“Hi Allison” one reporter said. “Welcome back”

“Thank you”, Allison replied with a smile.

“I understand that you’ve been training under your husband Michael Phelps”, the reporter began. “How is that working out?”

“It’s fantastic”, Allison said. “He works me pretty hard, but he’s so supportive. He’s sorry that he couldn’t be here this weekend.”

“Busy with all of his travels, I assume”, One of the reporters said. “He’s always working on one project or another and visiting swim schools.”

“He’s been very busy”, Allison agreed, her heart swelling with pride for her talented, hard-working husband. “but this time, he’s missing the meet because he came down with the flu.”

“You look like you’re in great shape”, one of the other reporters said. “Any comments on your workout and training plan?”  
Allison smiled. “Well, thank you”, she said. “But I mostly just work hard in the pool, and on my drylands trainings. My coach makes sure that I work hard, but also take time for myself too.”

“Any comments on your events this weekend?”, another reporter asked.

“I’m scratching the 800”, Allison said. “I just don’t feel ready for it, but I’m raring to go for the 200 and 400.”

When no other reporters had any questions, Allison thanked them and made her way to the warm up pool.

***

Back in Baltimore, Michael was beginning to feel a little bit better. He was lying on the couch in the living room, covered in blankets. He had tried to eat lunch, but still wasn’t very hungry and didn’t want to force it. He settled for drinking some gatorade, in the hopes that it would make him feel a little better. Debbie kept herself busy cleaning the kitchen while Michael took a nap.

“Hi, honey”, Debbie said when she saw that he had woken up. “How are you feeling?”

Michael shrugged. “Not great”, he said. “Better than last night, but still not great. I miss Allie.”

“I bet you’re sorry that you can’t be at the meet this weekend, huh?”, Debbie asked.

“Why did I have to get the stupid flu this weekend?”, Michael whined.

“I know it stinks”, Debbie agreed. “Do you want to eat something?”

“I think I want to try”, Michael said. 

Debbie handed him a steaming hot cup of tea and a few pieces of toast. “Here”, she said. “Start with this. I also have some soup on the stove for you.”

“Thanks Mom”, Michael said. He ate some of the toast, and drank a cup of tea. 

Debbie sat next to him on the couch, and gently brushed his hair, wet with sweat, away from his forehead. “Are you okay, honey?”, she asked him.

Michael nodded. “I feel a little better”, he said. “I think the toast helped.”

Debbie stayed with Michael as he drifted off to sleep again, and slept through the night. When he woke up the next morning, she sat with him as he watched Allison win her heat of the 400 free preliminaries. She wanted him to try to eat again, and gave him some applesauce. “Did you have a good sleep?”, She asked him.

Michael nodded. “I did”, he said. “I feel so much better. Still not one hundred percent, but maybe like, eighty percent better.”

“Good”, Debbie said, as she rubbed his back. “Do you want to try eating a little more?”

“I think so”, Michael said. “I want to shower first, but then can I have some of the soup?”

Debbie nodded. “Of course!”, she said. “I’ll heat it up for you.”

Michael went upstairs to shower. After spending a couple days lying around, he wanted to get up and be somewhat productive. He took a shower, had some soup with Debbie, then got ready to cheer for Allison in the 400 free finals.

It felt good to eat something a little more substantial than tea, gatorade, and toast. “Mmmm”, he said appreciatively. “Delicious. Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie”, Debbie said. “How are you?”

“Good”, Michael said finally feeling better after a few days of being miserable. “Really good.”

Later that evening, Debbie and Michael called up the live stream of the meet. When the A final of the 400 free was called, Michael grabbed Debbie’s hand. “Go, Al”, he whispered. He was nervous. His stomach was in knots, and he hoped that it was from nerves, and not the stomachache creeping up again.

“Calm down, Michael”, Debbie said gently. “You’re going to make yourself sick again.”

Michael laughed. “Come on, Allie”, he whispered. He was too nervous to watch. He squeezed his eyes shut as Debbie gently rubbed his back. It felt good to be comforted. He wasn’t sure he’d survive watching it alone.

“Open your eyes Michael”, Debbie said gently. “She’s doing so well.”

Michael opened his eyes. “Oh my god”, he whispered. “She looks amazing out there”.”

“….and Schmitt makes the final turn!”, Rowdy cheered on the live stream. “She’s doing it! She’s going to win it. There she goes! Schmitt in first!”

“Yes!”, Michael cheered as he and Debbie jumped up and hugged. “I’m so proud of her!”

Debbie rubbed Michael’s back. “I know you are, sweetie”, she said.

“I need a flight to Santa Clara”, Michael said. He didn’t want to spend another second away from his wife. He wanted to be there to see her comeback in person.

“Are you sure sweetie?”, Debbie asked, looking at him carefully. “You’ve been so sick. Do you feel well enough to travel?”

Michael nodded. “I feel fine”, he said. “I’ll feel better when I’m with Allie.”

“I’m going with you”, Debbie said.

Michael smiled and hugged his mother tightly. “I love you”, he said.

The following morning, Debbie and Michael were at the airport in Michael’s usual private jet. They took off for California, and Michael was excited to surprise Allison.

When they got to California, they checked in at the hotel. They had lunch together, and Michael checked the results of the morning’s preliminaries. Allison had made it into the A Final of the 200 Free. Michael was so proud. He wanted to keep his visit a surprise for Allison, so he tried to keep a low profile.

That evening, he and Debbie sat in the stands as the swimmers in the Women’s 200 Free A Final made their way to the starting blocks. Michael squeezed Debbie’s hand as he watched Allison. His emotions were getting the better of him. He recalled so many of his own swims, moments spent cheering for Allison, and most recently helping her to prepare for her comeback. He felt a lump begin to form in his throat. Debbie sensed it, and held him close. When Allison made her final turn, Michael kissed Debbie on the cheek, and raced down to the pool deck. Allison was winning by a body length.

“Go Schmitty!”, he shouted.

Allison hit the wall first, and looked up and saw Michael. She hoisted herself out of the pool and ran into his arms. “Mike!”, she exclaimed. “You’re here!”

Michael hugged her tightly. “I’m here, baby”, he said. “And I’m so proud of you.”

The media was waiting to talk to Allison, but she didn’t want to move from where she and Michael were standing. He held her in his arms, and kissed the top of her head. “I love you”, she said. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now that I’m with you”, Michael replied.

Tears were streaming down Allison’s cheeks. “I’m so happy that you’re here”, she said. She pulled away from the hug, and noticed that since she had hugged him right after she got out of the pool, Michael’s clothes were now dripping with water. “Oh Mike, you’re all wet!’

Michael laughed, low and deep. “Not until later”, he cracked.

Allison laughed. “Mike!”, she exclaimed, as she slapped his shoulder.

“Michael Fred, you watch your mouth, young man”, Debbie scolded with a laugh as she came up from behind him. “Hi Allie.”

“Debbie!”, Allison exclaimed. “You’re here too!”

“Of course I am, sweetie”, Debbie said, giving her a hug. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

Allison made her way to the media tent for interviews, and Michael met her when she was finished. They ate dinner with Debbie, then went back to the hotel. Michael was going to stay with Allison in her hotel room.

“I’ll see you two lovebirds in the morning”, Debbie said, as she went to her own room. “I love you both.”


	18. Chapter 18

When they got into the room, they began to undress. Allison wore a comfortable pair of shorts and one of Michael’s old Michigan t-shirts. It smelled like him, and she had packed it in her suitcase for good luck.

“You look hot in my stuff”, Michael commented as he slipped off his jeans, and pulled off his t-shirt. He tossed the clothes on a chair and climbed into bed next to her. 

“Are you feeling better?”, Allison asked.

“So much better”, Michael said. “I’m sorry I missed most of the meet. Fucking flu fucking up my plans.”

“It’s okay”, Allison said. “I’m glad you’re here now, and I’m happy you feel better.”

“I watched your press conference”, Michael said. “You looked good.”

“Thanks”, Allison said. “I was scared to do it without you.”

“You did great”, Michael assured her.

He leaned over, and straddled her. He lifted up her shirt, and rubbed her stomach in small circles. He reached up a little further, and took hold of one of her breasts, gently cupping it in the palm of his hand. He kissed her neck, and she moaned and writhed, wiggling out of her shorts.

“Baby”, Michael whispered. “I love you so much.”

Allison reached up and held onto Michael’s narrow hips, and slipped off his underwear as she rubbed her thumbs along the raised edges of the tattoos on each side. “I love you too”, she said.

She had gotten a couple of tattoos of her own in the years after their wedding, Olympic rings on one hip and a University of Georgia “G” on the other, to match Michael’s Olympic Rings and Michigan “M”. She pulled him on top of her, so that their hips were flush together, and the two sets of rings touched each other.

“I think you need another tattoo”, Michael said softly, as he ran his hands along her soft skin.

Allison smiled. “Oh, I have a few ideas”, she said. She leaned into the crook of his neck, and let her mouth wander. Michael’s entire body seemed to vibrate with pleasure and he let out a groan, begging Allison to continue.

“You taste good”, she commented, as she mouthed the skin beneath his earlobe. She kissed a trail down to his collarbone, and swirled her tongue around the indent of his shoulder blade.

Michael’s hips jerked, and he grabbed her hand. “Shit, Allie”, he exclaimed.

“Good?”, she asked, as she grabbed his ass.

Michael responded by gently biting at her lip, then deepening the kiss. “We weren’t even apart for that long, and it sucked so much to be away from you”, he said.

Allison nodded, and Michael rolled off of her and laid on his side watching her. “It was the worst”, she agreed. “but we’re together now, and that’s all that matters.”

“I love you”, Michael replied.

Allison ran her fingertips along Michael’s torso. “I love you so much, Mike”, she replied.

Michael ran his fingers through the tangles of her long, curly hair. “Hey”, he said softly. “Do you remember the first time we said we loved each other?”

Allison nodded. She kissed his bare shoulder. “I do”, she said. “It was right after the… 400 IM.”

Michael cringed. “Yeah, that”, he said.

 

_  
Flashback: August 2012, London, England_

_Michael had just come in 4th in the 400 IM. Bob watched him walk away from the pool with a scowl on his face. He looked like he wanted to punch something._

_“Michael”, Bob said. “Warm down. Now.”_

_“This fucking sucks!”, Michael exclaimed._

_“Michael”, Bob began. “You know that you weren’t doing your best out there just now. Go take a break, then do some laps to prepare for tomorrow.”_

_“Fuck this!”, Michael yelled, ignoring Bob’s request. “Fourth? What the fuck?”_

_Michael was angry. He didn’t even know who he was angry at. Well, mostly he was angry at himself. HIs face was red with fury. His blood was boiling and he wanted to punch something. Or someone._

_“Michael”, Bob said again._

_“NO!”, Michael exclaimed. “Fuck this, and fuck you!”_

_Bob pursed his lips into a line. He knew Michael well enough that the best thing to do right now was to let him get his anger out. He knew that Michael didn’t really mean the things that he said. Michael was like a son to him, and they often fought like father and son._

_“Go take a break”, Bob said keeping his tone even._

_Without saying another word, Michael picked up his bag and walked out of the aquatic center._

_“Mike”, he heard a voice say._

_“What the fuck do you want?”, he snapped, before he realized who it was. He looked up and saw Allison standing in front of him. She looked hurt. His heart dropped._

_“I wanted to talk to you, but forget it”, Allison said calmly._

_Michael’s expression softened. He felt guilty for yelling at Allison. She had done so much for him and he knew that she didn’t deserve to have him take out his frustration on her. “I’m sorry Allie”, he said softly. “I’m just upset.”_

_“I know you are”, Allison said gently. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”  
“Allie, I really don’t want to talk about this”, Michael said wearily. “I fucked up. I came in fourth.”_

_“Fourth isn’t last”, Allison said gently. “You’ll do better tomorrow.”_

_Michael rolled his eyes. “I wanted to do better today”, he grumbled._

_Allison shrugged. “But you didn’t”, she said calmly. “Get some rest, go practice, and kick ass next time. Tomorrow is a new day.”_

_Michael felt his whole body relax. Allison had a way of always making him feel better. Over the past few years, she had made him laugh, dried his tears, and calmed him down when he needed it most. He smiled, and gestured for her to join him as he sat on the ground. He looked up at the clouds in the sky. “That one looks like a ship”, he said._

_“I don’t know”, Allison said, as she leaned on his shoulder. “I thought it looked kind of like a heart.”_

_Michael smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Allie”, he said softly._

_“I love you too”, Allison replied._

_End Flashback.  
_

 

“That was a nice moment”, Allison said. “You know, despite…”

Michael laughed. “It was nice”, he agreed. “I don’t know if I ever thanked you for talking to me that day.”

“You’re welcome”, Allison replied, as she snuggled up against her husband.

Michael smiled, and kissed the top of her head. “Good night, sweetheart”, he said softly.

“Good night, Mike”, she replied.


	19. Chapter 19

It took Allison a long time to fall asleep. She had so much on her mind. She was happy that Michael was feeling better, and that he had made the trip to California to see her. She was happy to touch him, to kiss him, to feel his soft skin beneath her fingertips. She was happy, but she couldn’t help worrying. Michael had been so sick for a few days, and it concerned her. Michael was, more often than not, the picture of perfect health. He was strong and lean, worked out every day, and was very careful about what he ate. Despite working with kids, he usually managed to make it out of cold and flu season with no more than a short-lived case of the sniffles. It was rare for him to get sick, so since he had been in such rough shape that week Allison was worried. 

She turned over on her side, and Michael was sleeping peacefully next to her. She watched his chest move up and down as he breathed in and out. She rested her hand on his stomach, and ran her thumb along the indents of the muscles surrounding his ribcage. She leaned over and kissed his collarbone. His skin was warm and smelled faintly of his cologne. The shorts that he wore to bed sat low on his hips, and she moved her hand down to slip her fingers underneath the waistband. Ever so gently, she ran her thumb along his waist.

Michael’s eyes fluttered open, and he took her hand. “Hey”, he said softly.

“Hey”, Allison whispered back. “Sorry to wake you, I just… I missed touching you.”

Michael laughed softly, and kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay, Baby”, he said. “I missed you too. I missed the feeling of you touching me there.”

“How are you doing?”, Allison asked him. “You feeling okay?”

“I’m fine, sweetie”, Michael replied. “Really.”

Allison hesitated. “Are you sure?”, she asked. “Baby, you rarely get sick, and this past week was the worst I’ve ever seen it. I’m worried.”

“Don’t be”, Michael replied. “It was just the flu. Everything is okay. Really.”

“Mike”, Allison said gently.

“Allie, I’m fine”, Michael said. “Just drop it.”

“Okay”, Allison said softly. “I’m sorry.”

Michael’s expression softened. “I’m sorry too, sweetie”, he said. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just tired. I promise, I’m fine. I love you.”

“I love you too”, Allison said. “Go back to sleep.”

Allison watched as Michael drifted off to sleep again. She loved her husband with all her heart, and knew that he loved her too. They had been a part of each other’s lives for so long, and stayed by each other’s side through everything. They watched as their friendship grew into love. Throughout their romance and eventual engagement and marriage, loyalties were tested and friends were very vocal about their feelings about the relationship. Despite the initial protests of some of those close to them, Michael and Allison stood their ground, and worked through the things they needed to work through. Even after they were married, things weren’t perfect. Relationships never were, but despite both of their imperfections, they were perfect for each other, and that was the important thing. Women threw themselves at Michael wherever he went, but he was never unfaithful to Allison. They trusted each other. They made it through Michael’s busy schedule with the foundation, teaching, photoshoots, and media events. Their relationship survived the loss of their baby, their brief time apart, and so many other tests that life threw at them. Allison’s comeback was going well, and she was grateful for Michael’s support. She loved him. There was no one else in the world that she loved as much as she loved him. That’s why she was overwrought with guilt about what had happened while she was staying in Michigan.

That thing that had happened was a mistake, a huge, horrible mistake that would destroy Michael if she knew. Michael tried to pretend to be strong most of the time, but if someone he loved and trusted let him down, all of his defenses were stripped away. If he felt betrayed in any way, he would let out emotions that he would otherwise keep bottled up. She knew that she had to tell him, but it broke her heart to picture the look that would be on his face when he found out.

She watched as Michael slept peacefully beside her. She ran her fingertips up and down his arm. She snuggled closer to him, and wondered how she got so lucky. She wondered how she ended up with the man of her dreams. It made her feel even more guilty about what had happened. Michael didn’t deserve what she had done to him. What had happened was something so out of character for her. What she had done was something that she never in a million years imagined herself doing to anyone, especially Michael. A tear rolled down her cheek as she leaned over to kiss her husband on the cheek. She knew what she had to do, but had no idea how to do it. She didn't know how to do it, and she wasn’t sure that she’d want to live with the consequences of telling Michael the truth. They had worked too hard on their relationship to throw it away because of a stupid mistake. She considered not telling him anything, but was afraid of feeling guilty for the rest of her life. She had too much on her mind. She knew what she should do, but before telling Michael, there was someone else she needed to talk to. She picked up her phone from the nightstand, and sent a text message.

**Allison [2:30 AM Pacific Time]:** I need to tell Michael about what happened between us. I can’t deal with the guilt anymore. I’m sorry.

She sighed, and placed the phone back on the nightstand. She looked over at Michael sleeping next to her, bushed a stray strand of his scruffy, and entirely too long hair, out of his eyes, and slowly but surely, she finally fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning, Allison woke up. She wanted to tell Michael what was on her mind, but thought better of it. She thought that if she told him while they were away from home, it would make for an awkward trip back. She decided to wait until they got home. In truth, she was making up excuses for herself. She loved Michael so much, and was worried about what would happen once he knew the truth.

Michael opened his eyes, and looked over at Allison. He rubbed his thumb up and down her arm. “You okay, baby?”, he asked. “I can hear you thinking from here.”

Allison laughed. “I’m fine”, she said. “Let’s get up and get ready to go home.”

“I need to go for a run first”, Michael said. “I haven’t worked out for a few days and I feel gross.”

Allison rolled her eyes. “Mike, you’re perfect”, she said. 

“Thanks, baby”, Michael said, as he kissed her neck. “I just… I feel jumpy and out of sorts when I don’t work out. You know that.”

Allison laughed, because she did know. “Okay”, she said. “You go run, then we’ll get breakfast. You haven’t been eating much, and you need your strength.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah”, he agreed. “I need an omelette or something. I feel like I was sick forever, but I’m really hungry now.”

“You’re always hungry”, Allison said.

“Don’t make fun”, Michael said with a pout.

“I’m just kidding”, Allison said, as she poked his stomach. “I love you. Go for your run, then we’ll get food.”

“Okay”, Michael said.

***

An hour or so later, Michael came back to the room, red-faced, and breathing hard. “Hey”, he said, with his hands on his hips, as he caught his breath. “So, breakfast?”

“Sure”, Allison said, as she zipped her suitcase closed. “How was your run?”

“Great”, Michael said. “I feel awesome.”

“You look awesome”, Allison replied.

“Thanks, babe”, Michael said. “just give me a few minutes to shower, then we’ll get food.”

***

Once Michael finished his shower, and all of the bags were packed, they went downstairs to the hotel restaurant to get something to eat.

As they ate their breakfast, they talked through the weekend. Allison caught Michael up on what he missed, and Michael reminded her again how much he loved her.

“I’m so sorry, baby”, Michael said. “I wish I had been here for you.”

Allison smiled, and took his hand. She rubbed his wrist with her thumb. “Mike, it’s okay”, she said. “I didn’t want you to travel while you were sick.”

“I know”, Michael said. “I never get sick. Why did I have to get sick _now_?”

Allison smiled and sipped her coffee. “It happens”, she said. “The important thing is that you’re okay now. You’re okay, right?”

Michael nodded. “I’m fine”, he said. “Really. I have a headache, but I think I’m just a little dehydrated. I’ll be fine once I have some more water.”

Allison looked down at her phone. She hadn’t gotten a response from the message she had sent before she went to bed. She didn’t know what that meant. “Huh?”, she asked, once she realized that Michael was still talking.

Michael shook his head. “Nothing”, he said. “I’m going to go get some water. Want anything?”

“I’m all set”, Allison said. “You ready to get our stuff and head to the airport?”

Michael nodded. “Yeah”, he said. 

Debbie came downstairs to join them. She picked up a muffin from the breakfast buffet. “Are you two ready?”, she asked.

Michael capped his water bottle and stuck it in his bag. He nodded. “Yup”, he replied, popping the ‘p’. Allie?

Allison nodded. She slung her bag over her shoulder. “Let’s get out of here”, she said with a smile.

The three of them went to the airport for their flight home. Once they were checked in, they went to the gate to wait.  
“Allison, you were great this weekend”, Debbie said. “Michael and I are so proud of you.”

“Thank you, Debbie”, Allison said. “It was fun. Now I have to get ready for Nationals!”

Michael laughed. “I have some fun sets planned for you”, he said.

Allison made a face. “Fun?”, she repeated. “I don’t know if I’d say that. When do I start these ‘fun’ sets?”

“The day after tomorrow”, Michael replied. “You can take tomorrow off.”

“Very kind of you”, Allison said, making a face at her husband.

Michael put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “I love you, baby”, he said. “and you make me so proud every day.”

Allison’s stomach clenched. She felt like her heart was beating faster, and not because Michael had that effect on her. This time it was the guilt. “I love you too”, she said softly.

During the flight home, Allison kept thinking about what had happened. She still had no idea how to tell Michael what she was thinking. Once they got back to Baltimore, they had dinner with Debbie, then went back to their house.

They climbed into bed, and slipped underneath the covers. Allison hooked her legs around Michael’s waist, and kissed his shoulder blade. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and ran her and up and down his muscular back. 

“Baby?”, Michael began. “You’ve been weird ever since I arrived at the meet. What’s up?”

Allison kissed his neck. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him. “It’s nothing”, she said. “I’m fine.”

“Allie?”, Michael said. “Talk to me.”

Allison took a deep breath. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I just… I really feel like I need to tell you something.”

Michael looked at her carefully. He didn’t say anything for a long time. “Then don’t”, he said quietly.

“I…”, Allison began. “Wait. What?”

“Sometimes, just because something needs to be said, doesn’t mean it needs to be heard”, Michael said gently.

“I don’t know if this is one of those times”, Allison said. “I did something. It was something really bad.”

Michael smiled. He brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “We’ve all done bad things”, he said. “It doesn’t make us bad people. You know me better than anyone. I spent my twenties doing bad things.”

“I love you”, Allison said. “I love you so much. I want to tell you something, but I’m afraid of what will happen when I tell you.”

“It’s up to you”, Michael said. “What do you think you’ll gain from saying it out loud?”

“It’s more like, what will I lose…”, Allison replied.

Michael made a noise of understanding. “Okay”, he said. “You can tell me if you want, but if you don’t want to, that’s okay too.”

“I kissed someone else”, Allison blurted out. “I’m so sorry, Mike. I love you so much. I don’t ever want to hurt you but…”

Michael swallowed. “When did this happen?”, he asked. “In Santa Clara?”

Allison shook her head. She began to cry. “No”, she said. “It happened… It was when I went back to Michigan after everything happened. I’m so sorry, Mike. I love you.”

Michael’s face was chalk-white. He looked at her sadly. “Can you tell me that it didn’t mean anything?”, he asked quietly.

Allison kissed him. “Yes”, she said.

Michael nodded. “Okay”, he said.

“When I was gone…”, Allison began. “Did you…?

“No”, Michael said, his voice breaking. “I would never do that to you.”

“Baby?”, Allison asked.

“Just go to sleep, Allison”, Michael replied softly.

“Mike, are we okay?”, she asked. “Please tell me that we’re okay.”

Michael rubbed her arm. “Yeah”, he said. “We’re okay. Go to sleep.”

Allison had hoped that telling Michael what was on her mind would make her feel better, but it had only made her feel worse. Honesty was so important to her. Michael had assured her that they were okay, but something still felt off. She hoped that they could continue to talk about things, and that they really would be okay. After all, they were happy, healthy, and most importantly, they were together. Nothing could prepare them, however, for the heartbreak that was waiting just around the corner.


	21. Chapter 21

Allison woke up the next morning. Michael wasn’t there. There was a note on the nightstand. Allison assumed the worst, then picked it up to read it.

_Babe-_

_Went for a run. Be back soon._

_love you. -Mike_

Allison breathed a sigh of relief. He wouldn’t be gone forever. She felt a tear run down her cheek. She turned over and buried her face in the pillow and let herself cry for a while. Her phone buzzed with a new message. It was a message from Megan, finally responding to the message she had sent a few days earlier.

**Megan [8:30 AM]:** If that’s really what u want then ok. Love u Al.

Allison sighed, and typed out a response. 

**Allison [8:32 AM]:** This is so complicated. I’m sorry.

 

She turned her phone off and went downstairs to make breakfast. Michael hadn't come home yet, so she ate alone at the kitchen table. She went upstairs to take a shower and get ready for the day. When she came back down, Michael’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

***

Michael drove to his mother’s house. The pain, fear, and anger was bubbling up in his chest. He clutched the steering wheel with a vice-like grip and continued to drive. By the time he reached Debbie’s house, his knuckles were white, his palms were sweating, and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

He let himself into Debbie’s house, and saw her out on the back porch, relaxing in the sun. “Mama?”, he said as he opened the sliding door and stepped outside.

“Hi Sweetie!”, Debbie greeted him. She looked up at him. “Oh, Michael. You look terrible! What’s wrong?”

Michael forced himself to smile. “I’m just not feeling very well”, he said. “I’m fine.”

“Sit down”, she ordered him. “Are you sick again?”

Michael shook his head and took a seat on the bench. “No, it’s not like that”, he said. “I went for a run and now I’m tired. Plus, I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Honey”, Debbie said gently. “What’s wrong? If you’re sick, we need to do something about it.”

“I’m not sick, Mama”, Michael insisted. “I’m just tired.”

“Are you sure you’re not sick?”, Debbie asked. “You look thin. Are you losing weight?”

“I was sick last week”, Michael reminded her. “I wasn’t really eating much. I’m fine, Mom.”

Debbie cupped her hand around his cheek and gently rubbed her thumb along his face, where sweat pooled around his hairline. “Are you sure that’s all it is?”, she asked him.

Michael looked down at his lap, and ran his hands up and down his legs. “I just have a lot on my mind”, he admitted. “Stressed.”

Debbie joined him on the bench and wrapped an arm around him. He rested his head on her shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”, she asked gently.

Michael was quiet for a long time. “Allie cheated on me”, he said after a while.

“Oh, Baby”, Debbie said gently. She rubbed his back. “I’m so sorry.”

Michael made an incomprehensible noise and wiped his face on his shirt. “I don’t know what to do, Mom”, he said.

Debbie didn’t say anything at first. She thought over her words as she held Michael in her arms. “Honey, you and Allie have a wonderful relationship”, she said. “You need to talk to her.”

“There’s nothing to talk about”, he said. “I love her. I trusted her and she broke my heart.”

Debbie kissed his cheek. “Good relationships are not without conflict, sweetheart”, she said. “What Allison did was wrong, but I have never once doubted her love for you. It’s important to be able to trust the person you love, but you also have to understand that people have flaws. People make mistakes. Even Allison.”

Michael smiled. “I guess you’re right”, he said.

Debbie hugged him. “I’m your mom”, she said. “I’m always right.”

Michael laughed. “Thanks”, he said. “Love you.”

“I love you so much, honey”, Debbie said. “Why don’t you go take a shower and rest for a little while. I’ll make us something to eat.”

“Thanks, Mom”, he said. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

Debbie watched him walk inside. She sighed, as she thought over everything that her youngest child had been through. His successes hadn’t come easily. He had fallen down a lot and had to repair his image on more than one occasion. After a while, he got his life together, married Allison, and finally seemed happy. Lately, though, something seemed wrong. Debbie knew that it was more than losing the baby, and now having problems with his marriage. He didn’t seem as healthy as he normally did. Debbie was worried, and not just in a way that mothers always worry. She was scared that something was really wrong with her boy.

Michael went into the house and slipped out of his clothes. He turned on the water in the shower and stepped in. He twisted the shower head and watched as the water made patterns on the walls around him. He turned the water on as hot as it would go, and stood underneath the stream of burning hot water. His stomach churned and his eyes stung, as he tried to wash away the pain that he felt low and deep.

When he got out of the shower, he dried himself off, and put on a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from the bag that he had brought to Debbie’s house. When he was ready, he went downstairs to share a meal with his favorite person in the world. He wasn’t feeling very hungry, but ate what he could, and just let himself enjoy the comfort of his mother’s warm, comfortable house, the delicious meal, and her calm demeanor.

When they finished eating, Michael helped her clean up. “Do you want to take a walk?”, she asked him.

Michael nodded. “That would be nice”, he said.

The two of them walked outside, and took a walk around the neighborhood. After a while, Debbie broke the silence. “Are you going to sleep at home tonight, Michael?”, she asked.

Michael shook his head. “I don’t think so”, he said. “probably getting a hotel or something.”  
“Michael, no”, Debbie said. “Stay here. I don’t want you to be alone tonight.”

Michael looked at her, and took her hand. “Mom, I’m okay”, he said. “I’m not, like… I’m not going to do anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Debbie’s hand flew to her mouth. “Honey, no!”, she gasped. “That’s not what I was thinking at all, but now that you’ve brought it up… Don’t you dare put that thought in my head, Michael Fred.”

“Mom, I’m okay”, Michael said again. “Really.”

Debbie sighed. “Okay”, she said. “I still want you to stay here, though.”

“If you insist”, Michael said. “Thanks, Mommy.”

“I love you, honey”, Debbie said.

“I love you too, Mom”, Michael said, leaning over to give her a kiss.

After a while, they walked back to the house and had some iced tea out on the porch. Michael carried the empty glasses back into the house for Debbie and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks again for everything today, Mom”, he said. “I’m going to go take a nap.”

He went upstairs to his childhood bedroom, and climbed into bed. He stared up at the ceiling and tried to figure out what to do. His cell phone alerted him of a new message. His heart started beating faster when he saw that it was from Allie.

**Allison [2:30 PM]:** Where r u? Coming home tonight?

Michael sighed. He felt sick. He didn’t reply right away, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He looked at the message again and took a deep breath before replying. 

**Michael [2:40 PM]:** No.

He set his phone back on the nightstand, turned over, and cried himself to sleep. He knows that he slept for a long time, and has a vague memory of Debbie coming into the room to ask him if he wanted dinner. He knows that he refused, but didn’t know how long he slept for. He didn’t wake up until the next morning. He had a headache and he felt dizzy, probably from skipping dinner the night before.

He got dressed and went downstairs. Debbie was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, and scrolling through the daily news on her iPad. “Hi honey!”, she said cheerfully. “Did you have a good sleep?”

Michael shook his head and poured himself a cup of coffee, and took a muffin from the box on the counter and took a bite. “Not really”, he admitted.

“Do you want some breakfast?”, Debbie asked.

Michael shook his head again. “I’m not too hungry”, he said. “The muffin is plenty. I’m just going to go home, I think. Thanks for taking care of me yesterday.”

“Any time, sweetie”, she said. “are you okay?”

“I have a headache”, Michael said. “I’ll be fine.”

Debbie walked Michael out to his car and gave him a hug. “Please call me or come by if you need anything, honey”, she said. “I’m worried about you. I’m not just worried about the thing with Allie, I’m worried about your health. You seem like you haven’t been doing well for a while.”

“Mom, I’m okay, really”, Michael said, giving her a kiss. “I love you.”

Debbie’s motherly intuition had been right. Michael wasn’t okay. Michael was stubborn, and it would take a lot of coaxing for him to go to a doctor and find out what was wrong, but that would all happen later.


	22. Chapter 22

Michael drove home and pulled into the driveway. Allison’s car wasn’t there. He got out of his car, walked up to the house, unlocked the door, and went inside. There was a note on the kitchen table.

_  
Mike -_

_I hope everything was okay last night. I was worried when you didn’t come home. I love you and I’m sorry for hurting you. I went to the pool to work on the sets that we talked about. I love you. I’ll be home tonight._

_Love, Allie.  
_

Michael took a deep breath, and put his bag on the chair. He poured himself a glass of water and called out for a pizza. The pizza arrived at the same time Allison got home.

“Hey”, she said quietly.

“Hey”, Michael said.

“You ordered pizza?”, Allison asked.

“Peace offering”, Michael said with a small smile.

Allison’s lips formed a small smile. “Yeah?”, she asked hopefully.

“We have to start somewhere”, Michael said, as he pulled out a chair for her.

Allison sat down and took a piece of pizza out of the box. “Are you okay?”, she asked him.

Michael nodded. “Yeah”, he said. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I just had to get away for a while. I needed to clear my head. I went to my mom’s.”

“Are you still mad at me?”, Allison asked.

Michael sighed. “I’m upset”, he admitted. “But you’re My Schmitty. I could never be mad at you.”

Allison grinned. “Thanks, Mike”, she said. “I hate that I hurt you. I’m so upset with myself.”

Michael smiled. “Don’t beat yourself up, babe”, he said. “It’s going to take some work, but we’ll be okay. We’ll figure this out. We’re going to get through this.”

“Thanks, Mike”, Allison said.

“Can I ask you a question, though?”, Michael asked.

“You just did!”, Allison joked.

Michael rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “You know what I mean”, he said.

“Okay”, Allison said.

“Can I ask who he was?”, Michael asked. “Was he… someone I know?”

Allison hesitated. “Yes…”, she began. “It’s someone you know, but… I uh…”

“Was it not a he?”, Michael asked with a wink.

Allison blushed and stared down at her plate. “Yep”, she replied. “It uh… It was Megan.”

Michael burst out laughing and dropped his slice of pizza. “You hooked up with Megan?” he asked incredulously. “I mean… not that I blame you. She’s hotter than I am.”

Allison rolled her eyes. “Are you jealous?”, she asked as she threw a piece of pizza crust at him.

“Of Megan?”, Michael asked, as he threw it back. “Yup!”

“Are you making fun of me?”, Allison asked with a fake pout.

“Maybe a little”, Michael admitted, but he was smiling.

“So, are we okay?”, Allison asked.

Michael took a deep breath. “Yeah”, he said. “I’m upset, but I love you. We’ll figure this out.”

Allison nodded. “Okay”, she said.

“How did training go today?”, Michael asked her.

Allison smiled. “It was good”, she said. “I’m sorry I went without you, I just thought that even though you weren't here, I should get my work done. Bob was there. He helped me.”

Michael nodded. “No, that’s good”, he said. “I’m proud of you. We have Nationals soon, so there’s work to be done.”

“Yup”, Allison said. She looked up at Michael, who looked like he was falling asleep at the table. “You okay, babe?”

Michael’s eyes flew open. “Huh?”, he asked. “Oh. Oh yeah. I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

“You sure?”, Allison asked, as she looked him over. 

Michael nodded. “Yeah”, he said. “I’m a little dizzy, but I’m fine.”

“Why don’t you go get some sleep?”, Allison suggested. “I’ll clean up.”

Michael nodded. “Okay”, he said. He stood up, and almost lost his balance. He grabbed the kitchen table to steady himself.

“Mike!”, Allison exclaimed, as she rushed to his side and grabbed his arm.

“I’m fine, Al”, Michael assured her. He was trying to convince himself too. He had to admit that he hadn’t felt quite right for a few months. He kept trying to convince himself that it was all due to stress and that it would pass eventually. 

The problem was, it hadn’t passed. He was tired all the time, he hadn’t had much of an appetite lately, and was getting thinner. He knew that if he told his mom or Allison that no, he actually wasn’t fine, that they would make him go to the doctor. He hated going to the doctor. He had a stubborn streak a mile long, and kept trying to convince himself that he would be okay. He told himself that he’d take some time away from work and catch up on sleep after they got home from Nationals.

Over the next few weeks, Michael began to feel a little better. Training for Nationals was winding down. Allison and the rest of the elite team were finishing up their preparations for Nationals. Michael hadn’t had too many more dizzy spells. He was eating more and finally felt better than he had in a few weeks. He and Allison were getting along well and they were working on trusting each other again. It would be a long road back to where they were, but they both had faith that eventually things would be okay again.

Near the end of the summer, Michael started feeling sick again. He tried to push the feeling away as the team traveled to Nationals. Allison felt ready, and Michael was confident that she was going to do well. Debbie and Hilary had made the trip with them to cheer Allison on, but Michael knew that part of the reason Debbie was there was because she was worried about him. 

“I’m _fine_ , Mother”, Michael had insisted with a slight eye roll as Debbie fussed over him.

“I just want to make sure, honey”, Debbie said. Her voice was full of concern, and she rubbed his back.

Michael didn’t want to tell his family or Allison how sick he felt. He still wasn’t sure what was wrong, and he kept refusing to see a doctor. By the end of the weekend, he felt like he was dying. The sun was too hot, he was tired from lack of sleep, his stomach hurt, and he was dizzy. He could barely stand up, without feeling like his knees were going to give out from under him. Allison noticed that something was wrong, and she tried to convince him to go back to the hotel to rest, but he refused. He had a whole elite group to take care of and he wanted to be there to see their races. He and Allison had another press conference that evening after finals, and Michael wanted to be there for her. Allison had done exceptionally well in the preliminaries that morning, and was seeded first going into finals. 

Debbie and Hilary cheered as Allison finished the 400 free, winning by more than a full body length. She had even set a new personal best for herself. Michael missed the race because he was having trouble breathing, and wanted to get out of the hot sun and away from the crowds. He met Allison by the blocks when he heard the cheers. He hugged her tightly, and they kissed, to the sounds of the cheers of the crowds around them. He had never seen Allison looking so happy, and he couldn't be more proud of her. That’s when he thought that everything that had been going wrong in their lives would finally be okay. He thought that they could finally be happy and healthy together, but then he collapsed on the way to the media zone.


	23. Chapter 23

“Babe!”, Allison exclaimed, as she sank down on her knees and tried to hold Michael up. She felt like everything around her was moving too quickly. Every word caught in her throat and she thought that her voice sounded too loud. She was convinced that she was going to cry as she frantically searched to see if anyone was close by enough to come over to where they were. “Can somebody please help us?”

Michael was conscious, but seemed disoriented. “I’m fine, Al”, he said hoarsely.

Allison was struggling to hold up Michael’s limp body. She was sitting on the ground, and his head was in her lap. They were soon surrounded by three meet officials.

“What happened?”, one of them asked.

“We were walking and he just… collapsed”, Allison explained.

Everything after that was a blur. Michael was taken to the hospital, and hooked up to an IV. Allison nervously paced around the waiting room. Debbie and Hilary ran down the hall to her.

Hilary wrapped her arms around Allison. “What’s wrong?”, she asked. “Do they know anything yet?”

Allison shook her head and sniffled. “No”, she said. “They’re doing tests and stuff.”

The doctor walked down the hall to meet them. “Hi”, he said. “You must be Michael’s family.”

Allison nodded. “Is he okay?”, she asked. 

“He’s awake”, the doctor replied, not really answering Allison’s question.

“Can I see him?”, Allison asked.

The doctor nodded. “Of course”, he said. 

“Debbie, do you want to come with me?”, Allison asked.

Debbie shook her head and wiped away a tear. “Not yet”, she said, as she sat down. “You go have some time with him. I’ll see him later.”

Allison nodded. “Okay”, she said. “Hil, what about you. Do you want to join me?”

Hilary sat down next to Debbie and put her arm around her. “I’m going to stay here with Mom for now”, she said. “We’ll give you and Michael some privacy.”  
Allison walked down the hall, and into Michael’s room. She was struck by how small and frail he looked lying in that hospital bed. The machines that surrounded him scared her.

“Hey”, Michael said, forcing a small smile and reaching out for her hand.

Allison grabbed his hands and sat down next to the bed. She brought his hands up to her lips and kissed them. “Hey baby”, she said. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck”, Michael said, but he was smiling, or at least trying to. 

Allison rubbed his arm. “I love you, honey” she said. “Do they know what’s wrong?”

Michael shook his head. “I have to have more tests done tomorrow”, he said. “I wish we were at home.”

“Baby”, Allison began. “Why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t feeling well?”

Michael shrugged. “I thought it would go away”, he said.

“But when it didn’t, you should have told me or your mom!”, Allison protested.

“I didn’t want you to worry”, Michael said. 

“Babe, I _am_ worried”, Allison said gently, as she stroked his arm. “We need to figure out what’s wrong so you can get better.”

Michael nodded. “Yeah”, he said sleepily, as his eyes closed.

Allison leaned over and squeezed his shoulder. “Get some sleep, honey” she said. “I love you.”

Allison curled up on the chair in the room, but was unable to fall asleep. She thought about going back to the hotel to try to get some sleep, but she didn't want leave the hospital unless Michael was going with her.

Debbie came into the room a little while later, and rested her hand on Allison’s shoulder. “Honey, why don’t you go back to the hotel”, she suggested. “I’ll stay here with Michael.”

Allison swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head. She wiped away a tear that she didn’t even realize had fallen. “No”, she said. “I can’t leave.”

Debbie crouched down next to her and rubbed her arm. “Sweetie, you need to get some rest”, she said. 

Allison yawned and rubbed her eyes. “I’m fine, Debbie”, she said. “Really.”

Debbie shook her head firmly. She was in “principal mode” now. “Get some rest, Allison”, she said. “Hilary will take you back to the hotel. Get some sleep and come back tomorrow. You can’t do much while Michael is sleeping anyway.”

“I want to be here when he wakes up”, Allison said.

Debbie nodded. “Hilary gets up early”, she said. “She’ll bring you back here in the morning.”

“Okay”, she said. She nodded and stood up. She bent down and hugged Debbie, who held her close for a long time. “I’m scared, Debbie.”

Debbie stroked Allison’s back and ran her fingers through her curls. “Me too, baby”, she said softly.

Allison walked out of the room and met Hilary in the waiting room. Hilary wrapped her arm around Allison’s shoulders and led her to the elevator. 

“Come on”, Hilary said gently. “Let’s get you to the hotel.”

Allison nodded. “Okay”, she said.

“We can come back first thing tomorrow morning”, Hilary said gently.

“Okay”, Allison said again. “Thanks.”

Hilary smiled and squeezed Allison’s shoulder. “He’s going to be okay”, she said. “My brother is strong. He’s been so healthy up until now.”

“Yeah”, Allison said. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

They went down to the parking garage, and Allison followed Hilary to her rental car and climbed in. Neither of them said much during the drive back to the hotel. When they got there, Hilary broke the silence. “Do you want me to stay in your room with you?”, she asked.

Allison smiled, feeling relieved that she wouldn't have to spend the night alone. “That would be nice”, she said. “Thanks.”

“Of course”, Hilary said, giving Allison another hug.

Allison unlocked her hotel room, walked in. She changed into a pair of shorts and one of Michael’s t-shirts. Hilary came back a few minutes later after retrieving some things from her own room.

“Hey”, she said, as Allison let her in.

“Hey”, Allison said softly.

Hilary put both hands on Allison’s shoulders. “He’s going to be okay, Al”, she said firmly, although Allison could tell that she had been crying. “My brother is a stubborn pain in the butt, but he’s strong. We’ll find out what’s wrong and we’ll get him a good doctor at home. He’ll be okay.”

Allison nodded and gave Hilary a hug. “I hope so, Hil”, she said. “I don’t know what I’d do without him.

Hilary smiled warmly at her sister-in-law. “Let’s talk”, she said gently.

Both women sat down on the couch in the room. “Okay”, Allison said.

“Al, Michael loves you so much”, she said. “You make him so happy.”

Allison smiled and rested her head on Hilary’s shoulder. “I know”, she said softly. “I love him too. So, so much. I just wish he knew that.’

“He knows”, Hilary said. “But I’m just curious. What happened between you two? Mom said that he was really upset about something a few weeks ago.”

Allison let out a long shaky breath. “I did something really stupid”, she said. “When I was in Michigan after I lost the baby, Megan came to see me and she wanted to take me out for a weekend to cheer me up, and I um… We kissed. After it happened, I felt so damn stupid, and I didn’t want Michael to know, but then I felt bad hiding it from him, and…”

Hilary smiled. “Oh honey”, she said, wrapping her arms around her. “Did it… did it mean anything?”

Allison shook her head. “I mean… Meg is so special to me, but like… I love Michael more than anything. I feel so bad for hurting Megan when I told her that it didn’t mean anything, but I feel even worse for breaking Michael’s heart.”

Hilary smiled and stroked Allison’s back, running her fingers through her long curls. “Michael loves you so much, sweetie”, she said. “He was hurt, but as long as you two can be honest with each other, you’ll be okay.”

Allison sniffled and choked back a sob. “I um… I just don’t want him to die without knowing how much I love him.”

“He’s going to be okay, Al”, Hilary said gently, as she pressed a soft kiss to Allison’s temple. “We can go back to the hospital first thing tomorrow morning.”

Allison forced herself to smile. “Okay”, she said. “Thanks, Hil.”

Soon enough, Hilary fell asleep on the pull-out couch, and Allison climbed into the bed, and curled up with one of Michael’s sweatshirts. It smelled like him, and it provided Allison with some comfort for a little while.


	24. Chapter 24

When Allison woke up early the next morning, Hilary was already wide awake and doing her morning yoga routine. Allison figured that she’d already been up for hours. “Damn, girl!”, she exclaimed, as she looked over at Hilary, impressed by how fit she looked. “You look great!”

Hilary grinned. “Thanks, Allie!”, she said. “I always feel so energized when I wake up really early and get an hour or so of yoga in. It’s part of my morning routine. Do you want to join me?”

Allison hesitated. “Yeah”, she said. “Yeah, okay. That would be cool.” 

Hilary walked her through some poses. She remembered some of what she learned when she took a few classes in Michigan, but she really enjoyed learning more from someone as experienced as Hilary. She had to admit, it made her feel really good. I took her mind off of things, even if it was just for a moment.

“See?”, Hilary said after they did an hour of yoga and took showers. “Feels good, right?”

“It was nice”, Allison agreed. “I feel so relaxed.”

“It’s the best part of my day”, Hilary said. “Do you want to head over to the hospital now?”

Allison nodded. “Yeah”, she said. “I just need to brush my teeth.”

“Sure”, Hilary said. “I have to get a few things out of my room anyway.”

When they were both ready, Hilary drove Allison back to the hospital. They stopped for breakfast on the way, and just enjoyed their time together. When they arrived at the hospital, Debbie was waiting for them. She hadn’t slept all night. She looked like she had been crying, and Allison feared the worst.

“Mom?”, Hilary asked, as she rushed over to where Debbie had been standing, and gave her a tight hug.

Debbie shook her head. “He was pretty sick last night”, she said. “He was very dehydrated, and just… my baby isn’t doing well. They took him downstairs for tests about an hour ago. We still don’t know what’s wrong.”

***

A little while later, the doctor walked down the hall towards where they were all sitting. Debbie stood up and waved him over.

“Mrs. Phelps?”, the tall, gray-haired doctor said gently, as he protectively touched Debbie’s shoulder.

Debbie wiped away a tear. “Yes?”, she asked.

“Let’s have a seat, okay?”, he said.

Debbie nodded. “Okay”, she said, joining the doctor on the line of chairs at the far corner of the waiting room, followed by Allison and Hilary. “Is my baby okay?”

The doctor smiled, but it was sort of a sad smile. “He’s stable”, he said. “He’s sleeping now.”

“I need to get him back to Baltimore”, Allison said. “He’ll want to be home.”

“He might not be able to travel, Al”, Hilary said gently.

Allison shook her head. “We’ll find a way”, she said. “I’m getting him back home somehow.”

Debbie glanced over at the doctor, and the two of them had an unspoken conversation with their eyes.

The doctor let out a heavy sigh. “Travel could be difficult. He’s weak, but if we can get things under control in the next few days, we might be able to let him go back home soon”, he said. “But if he does, it’s very important for him to seek treatment from his primary care doctor immediately.”

“What’s wrong with him?”, Allison interrupted.

The doctor sighed. “After several blood tests, we’ve confirmed that he is in the end-stage of kidney disease.”, he said gently.

“End-stage?”, Hilary repeated, the color leaving her face. “When was he even in the beginning stage?”

“Well”, the doctor began. “Sometimes the signs are easy to miss. If he had any health problems recently, it’s easy to mistake them for something less serious. Also, when things like this are left untreated, it can spread quickly.”

Allison nodded. “He had that stomach thing a few months ago”, she said. We thought it was just the flu.”

“He also had a lot of headaches and dizzy spells”, Debbie added. “He didn’t eat much for a few days. He told me that it was just because of the flu. I should have known that it was more serious than he was letting on”

“He should have gone to the hospital sooner”, Hilary said softly. “He’s so stubborn.”

“So what do we have to do?”, Allison asked. 

“What about a transplant?”, Hilary asked before the doctor could answer.

Debbie frowned. “Would he make the donor list?”, she asked.

The doctor hesitated. “You could certainly try”, he said. “The odds of finding a viable match on the national registry aren’t always great, but it’s certainly always worth a shot.”

“He can have my kidney”, Allison interrupted.

Debbie gently rubbed Allison’s back. “We don’t know if you’re a match, sweetie”, she said.

Allison shook her head. She had started to cry. “I’ll find out”, she said. “I’ll do anything to make sure he gets better.”

“What about dialysis?”, Hilary asked. She looked more nervous than Allison had ever seen her. She was almost in hysterics. “That’s an option, right? Or maybe that’s just for liver issues? I don’t know. We have to to do something.”

“More doctor visits?”, Allison asked. “Mike will never go for that.”

“It’s an option”, the doctor said. “To be honest with you, it’s usually only used as a last resort, but it’s something to consider because it could extend his life expectancy.”

“What’s his life expectancy without it?”, Allison asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“Two months”, the doctor said matter-of factly.

Debbie made a small noise and covered her mouth to suppress the sobs. Allison and Hilary each clutched one of her arms and the three of them cried together.

***

After a few days, Michael was cleared to travel. Well, it was more like, he insisted that they let him travel because he didn’t want to be away from home when he was so sick. He pouted until the doctor gave in. Allison wasn’t going to argue. He wasn’t sure how much longer he had left, and wanted to be home, near family and friends if anything were to happen. After protests from the doctors, he and Allie flew back home to Baltimore. 

Debbie and Hilary had gone home a few days earlier. When Allison and Michael arrived at BWI, Debbie came to pick them up. On the way home, Michael didn't seem to be doing too well. He wasn’t sick, exactly, but something just seemed…off. Instead of taking them to their house, Debbie drove them straight to Johns Hopkins.

Michael was admitted immediately, and he spent a few days in the hospital, just to make sure that everything was under control. Once he was home, he was sleeping a lot. He was eating whenever he felt like he could. When Allison wasn’t at the pool, she stayed by Michael’s side. After a while, things finally felt like they were calming down a little bit. It almost felt normal.


	25. Chapter 25

Allison was a nervous wreck. She hadn’t gone to the pool in a few days. Lack of exercise was making her irritable, but she didn’t want to leave Michael by himself. She was constantly asking him if he was okay. She cooked for him, and observed him as he ate every meal. Michael appreciated the concern, but it was beginning to drive him crazy.

“Baby, you have to get out of here”, Michael said, rolling his eyes after he had made is way about halfway through the lunch that Allison had prepared for him. She was still carefully observing his every move.

Allison stroked his arm with the back of her hand. “I’m not leaving you”, she said.

“You’re driving me crazy!”, Michael exclaimed, as he burst out laughing. “Ow.”

“What?”, Allison asked.

Michael winced in pain. “Laughing hurts”, he said, as he laughed again. “Seriously, Al. Go do something for yourself. I don’t need you here every second of the day. I’m a stubborn brat, and you’re an overprotective control freak. We’ll kill each other.”

“But…”, Allison began.

Michael shook his head. “Thank you for taking care of me, baby”, he said. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate it, but I’m okay. I can stay by myself. I have to go back to work soon. You won’t be with me when I’m there, so I have to get used to it.”

“Baby, you are not going back to work”, Allison said.

Michael shook his head again. “I have to”, he said stubbornly. “I have too much work to do. I can’t let it go any longer.”

“Mike, you can’t”, Allison protested firmly. “You don’t need the extra pressure. You’re not healthy enough.”

“Allie, please just stop”, Michael said, his voice rising. “We can fight about this later. I just need to be alone for a while, okay?”

“Okay”, Allison said hesitantly. “If you’re sure.”

Michael looked at her fondly. His face and voice softened. Even when they were driving each other crazy, he loved Allison so much. He took her hand and gently brought it up to his mouth to kiss it. “I love you, sweetie’, he said. “Go shopping or something. Take the day to do something that you want to do. You don’t need to be worrying about me all the time.”

“Are you okay?”, Allison asked. “Do you want to finish your lunch?”

Michael smiled. “I do”, he said. “It’s really good, and I’ll eat more later, but right now I just want to rest for a little while.”

Allison leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you”, she said again.

“I love you too, Al”, he said. “Get out of here.”

Allison laughed and nodded. “I’ll see you later”, she said. She went outside and got in her car. 

She decided to spend the afternoon at the harbor. She called Hilary and Debbie, and both of them agreed to meet her there. The three of them sat outside drinking coffee and talking.

“He looked a lot better when I was over there yesterday”, Debbie said. “He, dare I say, actually seemed more like himself.”

Allison nodded. “Yeah”, she said. “The past few days have been pretty good, actually. He’s still…you know, not great, but at least he’s eating better.”

“Good”, Debbie said. “How did he seem today?”

Allison smiled. “Pretty good, actually”, she said. “There are good days and bad days. Today is a good day. He ate lunch, and then he refused any more of my help. He kicked me out of the house.”

Debbie rolled her eyes and laughed. “He’s so stubborn”, she said. “Sounds like he’s acting like himself, though. That’s a good sign.”

Allison laughed, amazed at Debbie’s ability to make jokes at times like this. “Yeah”, she said. “He’s been doing fairly well lately.”

After they finished their coffee, Debbie had to leave because she was spending time with one of her co-workers for the evening. Allison and Hilary met up with Doug for dinner when he got out of work.

Allison enjoyed her day, and went back home feeling refreshed. When she got home, she was pleased to see that the dishes were done and the kitchen was clean. Michael was sitting on the living room couch, playing a game on his iPad. 

“Hey, baby!”, Allison said cheerfully. 

Michael looked up and smiled. It was the widest smile Allison had seen out of him in a long time. It reached all the way up to his eyes and his whole face crinkled. It made Allison’s heart skip a beat.

“Hey, Beautiful”, Michael said.

Allison set her keys on the table by the front door and went to join Michael on the couch. She curled up next to him and rested her head in his lap. Michael set his iPad on the coffee table. He sighed softly and rested his hand on Allison’s head and gently massaged her temple with his thumb. They had never been more in love than they were at that moment.

“How was your day?”, Michael asked softly.

“It was nice”, Allison said. “I had coffee by the harbor with your mom and Hil, then your Mom had to leave, but Hil and I spent the rest of the night together. We had dinner with Doug.”

Michael smiled. “That’s great, baby”, he said. “I’m glad you had fun with my crazy family.”

Allison laughed. “They’re pretty awesome”, she said.

Michael nodded and he continued to massage Allison’s temple. “They are”, he agreed. “I’m really lucky.”  
“What did you do while I was gone?”, Allison asked.

“I slept for a while. I slept for a long time, actually”, he said. “When I woke up, I went for a walk. Then I came home and had some leftovers for dinner and I cleaned the kitchen.”

“It looks great. Thanks for doing that.”, Allison said. 

Michael smiled. “Of course, babe”, he said. “I felt like I kind of owed you for taking care of me, so I thought I’d help you out. I don’t want you to have to do everything all the time.”

“I appreciate it”, Allison said “How are you feeling?”

Michael took a deep breath. “I’m a little tired”, he said. “But I feel mostly okay. I face timed with Taylor for a little while too.”

Allison smiled. Michael’s close relationship with his teenage niece made her so happy. So many little things about Michael made her happy. “Yeah?”, she asked. “How is she doing?”

“She’s kicking ass in swimming”, Michael replied. He gently bumped Allison’s shoulder. “You might have some competition in Tokyo!”

Allison laughed. “Good for her”, she said. “It seems like she’s doing really well.”

“Yeah”, Michael replied. “She makes me really proud. She has such a bright future ahead of her.”

“She’s growing up so fast”, Allison said.

Michael nodded. He swallowed. “Way too fast”, he agreed. “It seems like only yesterday I held her a few hours after she was born. Then all of a sudden she was this silly seven year old eating sour patch kids and dancing to Lady Gaga when she came to cheer me on in London. Now she’s thirteen? How the hell does that happen?”

Allison laughed. “Time flies”, she said. “She’s such a good kid.” Allison was still resting her head on Michael’s lap. She absent-mindedly picked at a loose thread on his jeans.

“Yeah”, Michael replied, as he started to cry. He furiously rubbed at his face. He didn’t want Allison to see he his tears. “I love her so much, Al. I just… I really wish that I could be there to see…” 

Allison wasn’t expecting such an emotional reaction out of him. She gasped, and sat up, quickly. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder. She held him tightly, afraid to let go. “Don’t say things like that, honey”, she said softly. “Maybe you’ll…”

Michael shook his head. “Not now, Allie”, he said, as he swallowed hard and choked back another sob. “I love you and your positive outlook, but right now, I… I can’t. Okay? I’m sorry. I just… I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

Allison nodded, and was quiet for a while. “Okay”, she said finally.

“So, yeah”, Michael said, relaxing a little bit as he changed the subject. “It was a really nice day.”

“Good”, Allison said. She had one arm wrapped around his waist, and her other hand was on his shoulder. She squeezed his shoulder and gently massaged his stomach. 

“I missed you today”, Michael said.

“I missed you too, baby”, Allison said. “Do you want a cup of tea or anything?”

“No”, Michael said quietly.

“Maybe we could watch a movie or something?”, Allison suggested. She really just wanted to spend some time with Michael. It didn’t matter to her what they did.

Michael shook his head. He swallowed. “I’m tired”, he said quietly. His voice sounded so far away.

Allison sighed. She didn't know what to do or say. She felt so helpless. “Do you just want to go up to bed?”, she asked.

“Yeah”, Michael said quietly, his voice full of dolor. “Let’s go.”


	26. Chapter 26

Things actually started to seem a little bit better before they got worse.

Michael was doing well. Or at least, he seemed to be. He was in better spirits. He was trying not to get angry with people who tried to help him. He was eating better. All in all, he seemed happy and healthy. He had started taking some medication, and it seemed to ease some of the pain and make him feel better. He certainly looked a lot better, which Allison was relieved about. He didn’t spend all day sleeping anymore, and was trying to be more present with the people he loved. Things were actually looking really good.

Allison was beginning to feel better about leaving him by himself. He had gone to see his doctor recently, and while they still had to keep an eye on things, everything seemed stable. Michael was still very sick, but things didn’t look as bleak as they had even a few days earlier. They still had to wait to find out about a donor for the transplant, so that was nerve-wracking. All things considered, however, it seemed like Michael had a chance to beat the odds that the doctor had warned them about.

Allison’s blood tests had confirmed that she wasn’t a donor match, so they had to keep waiting. The good news was that Michael had been feeling good. Well, he said that he was feeling good at least. He hadn’t gotten worse. He was still adamantly against trying any treatment other than what they were already doing. Allison was furious, because she was willing to try anything to help Michael. Michael thought that it would be admitting defeat.

“Baby, please just consider it”, Allison pleaded.

Michael shook his head. “No”, he said. “I’m not gonna do it, Al. It means more doctors and I hate doctors. You know that.”

“Mike, please”, Allison said. “Baby, I…”

“Just stop it!”, Michael snapped. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore!”

“You’re acting like a four year old”, Allison snapped back, immediately feeling awful for yelling at him. 

“Am not!”, Michael whined, and then he burst out laughing.

Allison laughed too.

***

Against the wishes of his family, Allison, and Bob, Michael decided to go back to work. Working with the elite team took his mind off of things. He knew that everyone, was worried about him, and that included his swimmers. Despite their worried looks and inquiries about how he felt, he kept trying to convince everyone that not only did he want to be there, he needed it. He wanted to take his mind off of everything that was bothering him, and even when he was very young, being at the pool did that for him.

Allison admitted that going back to work seemed to help him. She loved seeing him so calm. He seemed so much happier and healthier than he’d been in a while. He almost seemed like the old Michael. Seeing him doing well calmed her down too. She really thought that things were okay. Things were going so well. Michael seemed better than he’d been in a while. Allison wasn’t as nervous.

After that, things just… plummeted.

A few weeks later, Michael woke up feeling sick again one morning. Allison was concerned, but he waved off her worries. He decided to go to work anyway, convinced that he would feel better once he got there. Allison tried to talk him into staying home, which ended in a fight. He stormed out of the house and slammed the door behind him. 

He went to work and tried to concentrate on a training plan for one of his freestylers. He kept falling asleep at his desk. He wanted to stay for the whole day, but Bob had to practically pry him away from his desk to get him to leave. When he finally agreed to leave, Bob insisted on driving him home. He didn’t want him driving and falling asleep at the wheel. He told Michael that he could get his car later.

After a lot of grumbling and protesting, he let Bob drive him home. He spent the afternoon taking a nap. He got up long enough to eat dinner with Allison before falling asleep again. One of the elite team members brought Michael’s car over that evening, and Allison drove her home. 

When she got back home, she kissed Michael good night, and they went to sleep. In the middle of the night, Michael woke up with severe stomach pains. A trip to the hospital and a three hour wait in the emergency room confirmed that it was just indigestion, and they thought it was unrelated to anything else that was going on. The emergency room doctor gave him some antacid tablets and sent him home.

Later that week, Michael had become so weak that he couldn't even get out of bed. Allison had tried to get him to eat something, but he kept saying that he wasn’t hungry, and just seemed really out of it. He was disoriented and kept trying to fall asleep.

Allison didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t stop crying. All she could do was hold Michael and hope that he’d be okay, that this would pass. It didn’t. She had to call Debbie to come over and help her because she was crying too hard to be useful. And Michael, well, he was barely coherent.

Whitney, Hilary, and Debbie all arrived in record time, and just, took over. Allison was grateful for their help, because by the time they arrived he had gotten worse. Allison had never seen him so sick. He was there. He was conscious. He just wasn’t really responding. 

“We need to get him to the hospital now”, Debbie said, as she stroked Michael’s back. He was so out of it that Allison wasn’t sure he even knew that she was there. “Allie honey, call 911.”

Allison nodded. She tried to pull herself together, but she continued to cry as she called 911. Her hands and voice were shaking. It scared her to see Michael so sick. She knew that this meant that things had gotten more serious, and she was terrified. Michael was barely awake and just seemed so far away. He had started to cry though, so Allison knew that he was scared too. Allison felt helpless. She slid down the wall and sank down onto the floor, as she cried. Hilary and Debbie rode in the ambulance with Michael, while Allison, unable to move, sobbed on the kitchen floor.

Whitney sat crosslegged on the floor next to her and rubbed her back. “Shhh”, she said soothingly. “It’s okay, honey. Michael is going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that”, Allison protested through her sobs.

Whitney shook her head and sighed. “No”, she said, through her own tears. “You’re right. I don’t know. But I hope. Hope is kind of all we have right now.”


	27. Chapter 27

Later that night, Whitney took Allison to the hospital to see Michael. He was awake when they arrived, but just barely. He was somewhere between sleep and awake. That didn’t matter to Allison. She just wanted to see him and be there for him. She stayed by his side, even if he didn’t know that she was there. She rubbed his arm and kissed his forehead, and tried to comfort him. She stayed next to the bed, holding his hand, until she knew that he was asleep, then Whitney drove her home.

He was getting so much worse and he didn’t even look like himself anymore. He had been slipping away for a long time, and Allison didn’t realize until that moment just how bad it had become. She continued to drop by to see him every day, even when he spent the whole visit sleeping.

“Hey”, Allison said as she sat down on the edge of his bed one afternoon when Michael seemed particularly alert.

Michael grabbed her hand with all the strength he could muster. He smiled. “Hi honey”, he said softly. “I look like crap, huh?”

“Nah”, Allison lied. “You’re just as handsome as ever.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “You’re a bad liar”, he said. “Tell me the truth, babe. Do I look like shit?”

“Kinda”, Allison said with a laugh, as she wiped away a tear. “But like, you’re still perfect. I just hate seeing you in such rough shape, Mike.”

“It’s going to be okay, Al”, he said. “I’m okay.”

Allison shook her head and laughed. “Okay, Now you’re lying”, she said.

Michael grinned. “I just didn’t want you to worry”, he said. “Sorry.”  
“I am worried, honey”, Allison said. “You don’t look so good.”

“Have you been keeping up with your training?”, Michael asked, desperate to change the subject. He had been doing that a lot lately. Whenever anyone wanted to talk about his health, he tried to get them talking about themselves instead. “You’re here and not at the pool, so…”

Allison shook her head. “Not really”, she admitted. “I haven’t really gone to the pool for a while.”

“But, babe”, Michael said nervously. “Tokyo.”

Allison shrugged. “You’re more important than Tokyo”, she said.

Michael closed his eyes for a moment. Allison knew that he was holding back tears. They knew each other too well. Allison could spot his “about to cry” face anywhere. He took a deep staggering breath before speaking. “Baby”, he began. “We don’t know that I’ll even be here anymore for Tokyo. You have to keep living your life. Don’t stop because of me.”

“Mike, stop!”, Allison said, shaking her head vigorously. “Don’t say things like that.”

A tear rolled down Michael’s cheek, and Allison felt a pit in the bottom of her stomach when she saw it. She reached over to wipe it away with her thumb, and left her hand on his cheek for a long time. “Allie, I am going to die”, he said firmly. “Maybe not like, right away, but probably soon. My body is shutting down, honey.”

Allison shook her head and had started to cry openly. “No”, she said. “You’re not going to die. You’re going to get better and everything is going to be okay again.”

“Allie”, Michael said, trying to smile through his tears. “You’re always so positive, and I love that about you, but we have to think realistically. If anything happens to me, I want you to keep living your life. You’re going to get back to training. You’re going to make the team for Tokyo. You’re going to kick ass. You’re going to break records. I’m going to make that my dying wish. Okay?”

“Okay”, Allison said softly.

Michael squeezed her hand. “Go get ‘em, Schmitty.”

Allison swallowed the lump in her throat. She closed her eyes against the tears that were forming, and she nodded. “I love you”, she said.

“I love you too”, Michael said. He took another deep breath to steady his shaking voice. He didn’t want to talk about the sad stuff anymore. It was too much. Lying in a hospital bed and thinking and talking about how sick he was was getting depressing.   
Allison didn’t know what to say. All she wanted was to make Michael’s pain go away. “Baby?”, she asked helplessly. “What can I do?”

“Do me a favor and take my Mom home, okay?”, Michael asked. “She’s been here all day and I want her to get some sleep.”

Allison nodded. “Okay”, she said. ‘I’ll take her home and I’ll come back later.”

“No”, Michael said. “You need to get some sleep too. Come back tomorrow.”

Allison took Debbie home, then went home to try to get some sleep. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t fall asleep. She was too worried about Michael. She went back the next day, but Michael was sound asleep. She stayed for a little while, hoping that he’d wake up, but he didn’t. She went back home to try again to get some sleep. She took a nap for a little while, but she had so much on her mind that she couldn’t stay asleep for long. She tried to get some things done around the house in the hopes that it would take her mind off of everything. The house felt so empty without Michael there.

She faithfully visited Michael every day. Even when he was asleep, or awake, but unresponsive, she talked to him, read to him, and told him about her day. By the end of the week, he had stopped responding to treatment. He was no longer eating, and couldn’t even get out of bed. 

Much of his family and close friends stopped by the hospital. One by one, they came into the room to see him. More than one visitor at a time had gotten to be too much for him. He was barely lucid anyway. No one wanted to say it out loud, but what they were really there for, was to say good bye. 

Bob tentatively stepped into the room. “Hey, kiddo”, he said gently.

“Hi”, Michael said.

“How are you?”, Bob asked.

Michael tried to laugh. “Pretty awesome”, he joked.

Bob laughed, but it was a sad laugh. “This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, kid”, he said, as he took a seat in the chair next to Michael’s bed.

“You’re telling me!”, Michael replied gravely.

“It isn’t fair”, Bob went on. “You’re one of the good ones, and we’re all so lucky to have known you.”   
Michael forced himself to smile. He was struggling to find the right words for this one. “I’m the lucky one”, he said softly. “You’ve all been so good to me and I… I don’t want to… before I… I just wanted to say thank you.”

Bob nodded. He was trying not to cry. “You’re welcome, kid”, he replied.

“You’ve always been like a dad to me”, Michael said. “I know we don’t usually say things like that out loud to each other, but that’s how i feel.”

Bob laughed. “Well, you definitely irritate me like a son would”, he joked. Then his expression softened. “I feel the same way. I love you, Michael.”

Michael smiled back. “I love you too”, he said. “Can you do something for me?”

Bob nodded. “Of course, kid”, he said. “Anything.”

Michael swallowed. “Can you… take care of them for me?”, he asked. “Allie, Hil, Whit… Mom?”

Bob closed his eyes for a moment. He reached over and clutched Michael’s shoulder. “It would be my pleasure”, he replied.

When it was Allison’s turn, she went into his room, not knowing what to say. Every time she had gone to see him, she feared that it would be the last time. She entered his room, not sure if he would even know that she was there. “Hey”, she said softly, as she went over to his bed and crouched down next to him. She rested her chin on her crossed arms.

“Allie”, Michael said softly. He reached over and placed his hand on her arm.

“Hi”, Allison said, forcing herself to smile. She didn’t know what to say. What do you say to the love of your life when it is very likely that it’s the last time you’ll ever speak?

“I love you”, Michael said weakly. 

“I love you too, honey”, Allison said. “I’m going to keep loving you for the rest of my life.”

Three days later, he passed away peacefully in his sleep, while Allison held his hand.


	28. Chapter 28

Allison felt numb. She felt like she was just going through the motions of her everyday life. She went to Sunday dinner at Debbie’s house every week. At her own house, she cooked and cleaned and did things around the house as if everything was normal. She hadn’t gone to the pool in a while, because she was concentrating on making sure that everyone else was okay. She made it through the planning of the wake and funeral, and still hadn’t even really cried. 

Debbie, Hilary, Whitney, and Allison all said that they didn’t feel like they would be able to speak at the funeral. Doug gave the eulogy and spoke fondly of watching Michael compete and going to Ravens and O’s games together. Bob spoke next, and talked about Michael’s swimming and his work with his foundation. Lastly, Michael’s old friend Erin whom he swam with when he was a teenager got up to speak. She told a lot of funny stories about what it was like to know young Michael. By the end of her speech, the whole room was laughing. Allison had only met Erin a handful of times, but she had always been friendly and kind. Right after she spoke, she came right over to where Allison was sitting and gave her a tight hug.

“Thank you”, Allison said quietly.

Erin smiled warmly. “Of course”, she said. “I’m glad that I was able to do something to honor him.”

“Thank you for your words, sweetheart”, Debbie said, taking Erin’s hand.

Erin smiled. “You’re welcome”, she said. “If you need anything, call me or my mom, okay?”

Debbie nodded. “I appreciate that, dear”, she said. “Thank you.”

Allison glanced over at Debbie, and held her hand. “I love you”, she whispered.

Debbie stared straight ahead and squeezed Allison’s hand. “I love you too, sweetie”, she whispered back.

Michael’s father showed up at the end. of the service, which was weird for everyone. It was weird for Debbie, who had very little contact with her ex-husband. They shared a hug, and Debbie did her best to hold herself together. It was weird for Allison, who had never really met Fred. Fred had approached her, and told her that he was glad to meet her, having heard so many nice things about her from Hilary and Whitney. Allison accepted the compliment with a smile. It was weird for Bob, because Fred had always been weirdly jealous of him., and Bob had always been wary of Fred. The two of them didn’t speak. It was weird for Hilary and Whitney, because they were still close to Fred and mostly just tried to keep everyone else sane. 

After most people had left, some of the family and friends went back to Debbie’s house for a light dinner, all prepared and served by Michael’s elite team swimmers. When everyone started to leave, Allison thanked them all for coming, helped Debbie clean the kitchen, gave out lots of hugs and tissues, but still hadn’t expressed any emotion herself.

A few days later, after things had started to calm down, she got a tattoo in memory of Michael. She chose to get the words ‘Go get ‘em, Schmitty’, in swirling script along the left side of her ribcage, in memory of one of the last conversations that she had with Michael before he died. She hoped that it would motivate her to keep up with her training. That’s what she wanted. It was what Michael would have wanted for her.

Two weeks after the funeral, she got back in the pool. She knew that she’d have to do a lot of work to get back to where she was. She had lost a lot of her progress while Michael was sick.

“I can’t do it today”, Allison said, as she hoisted herself out of the pool after a particularly hard set.

Bob nodded. “I understand”, he said. “You can stop anytime you want, Allison. I don’t want you to push yourself.”

“I know”, Allison said. “I have to keep trying though because, I…”

Bob knew what she was getting at. She really wanted to be able to go to Tokyo. She knew that she had to put in a lot of work to make it happen, but the work was stressing her out. “You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do”, Bob said. “But, if you really want Tokyo, you can’t stay away forever. Michael would want you to keep chasing your dreams.”

That was the moment that finally did her in. She began to cry uncontrollably while Bob held her. “I need him to be here for this”, she said between gulps and sobs. “I hate that he’s not here.”

Bob pulled her close to him and stroked her back. A tear rolled down his own cheek. “I know”, he said. “I miss him too.”

 

***

Allison’s family wanted her to move back home to Michigan. They were concerned that staying in Baltimore wouldn’t be good for her because so many of her memories of Michael were tied to Baltimore. That was exactly why she wanted to stay. She refused to go back to Michigan, saying that Baltimore was home, that she wanted to continue to train. She didn’t want to do it without her NBAC teammates and Bob. Her memories of Michael were what motivated her.

***

The next couple of years flew by. Allison trained hard, and was improving every day. Bob became a regular fixture at Sunday dinner at Debbie’s house, which Allison continued to attend faithfully. When Hilary and Doug got married, she and Whitney were co-maids of honor. They were family, and she loved them as if they were related to her by blood. She couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

There were a lot of bad days. She missed Michael terribly, and some days she could’t get out of bed. Those were the bad days. On good days, she was able to get up and leave the house to go to the pool. About a year after Michael died, she had decided to start seeing a grief counselor and was amazed by how much it helped her.

Bob was still overseeing her training. She was hoping to swim in the 100, 200, and 400 meter freestyles in the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo, and she wanted make some of the relay teams.

She had originally hoped to swim in the 800 meter freestyle, but decided to stick to sprinting and middle distance. She was still trying for that world record in the 400.

She put her blood, sweat, and tears into preparing for Olympic Trials. She left Omaha to go back to Baltimore feeling pleased with the results. She had reached all of the goals that she hoped to, and was ready for whatever Tokyo threw her way.

A few days before she was going to leave for Tokyo, she went to the cemetery to visit Michael’s grave. The sky was gray and rain poured down in sheets. Allison didn’t mind the rain though, because the sound of it was so peaceful. It made everything around her look so fresh and green. She sat down on the ground, and stared at the headstone for a long time. She looked at the two years stamped in stone, and cursed whomever might be listening that the difference between the two years was so small. She heard a poem once that said that it was the dash between the two years that was most important, how a person filled their time between the years, that is. Michael’s life had been so full, but Allison still hated that he hadn’t had more time.

“Hey Mike”, she said softly. She tilted her head back and stared at the sky for a moment. The clouds were beginning to part, and she hoped that meant that sun would come back out soon. The tears in her eyes dripped out the corners and into her ears. She didn’t try to wipe them away as she dropped her gaze back on the headstone. “I really miss you and I hate you for leaving me. Fuck. I hate you so much. I um… I made the team, so I’m going to Tokyo. I hate that you’re not going to be there. I need you, Mike. I don’t even know if I believe in God or Heaven or any of that, but if you can hear me, could you give me a sign that everything is going to be okay?”

She stayed for a few more moments before standing up and walking back over to her car. She climbed in and drove back to her house, taking the long way and trying to process her thoughts. She pulled into the driveway. By that time, the rain had stopped, and the sun was peeking out from behind the clouds. As she unlocked the door to the house, she looked up at the clouds again, and saw that a beautiful rainbow had formed across the sky.


	29. Chapter 29

Allison traveled to Tokyo with her teammates, including Michael’s niece Taylor, who had also made the team and would be swimming the 100 and 200 meter butterfly. (Michael would have been so proud!) The entire Schmitt and Phelps families came along to cheer on their girls. 

Allison and Taylor wished more than anything that Michael could have been there to see them, but they were happy to have each other.

“Aunt Allie?”, Taylor said, when the two girls were spending some time just the two of them on their first night in Japan. They were taking a walk and chatting. “Where do you think Uncle Mike is? Do you think he can see us?”

Allison took a deep breath and put her arm around her niece’s shoulders. “I don’t know, Tay”, she said softly. “I don’t really know what I believe in anymore. I like to think that he’s watching over us, though. I hope so, anyway.”

Taylor nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”, she said. “I wish he could be here though. I wanted him to be proud of me.”

Allison felt like she was going to cry. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “He was so proud of you, honey”, Allison said. “He always wanted you and your brother to do what makes you happy, but I think he was excited that you love swimming as much as he did. He loved sharing that with you. He was so proud, and if he were here today, he’d still be proud. I wish he could be here to see how well you’re doing. I’m proud of you too.”

Taylor smiled at that and gave Allison a hug. “Thanks”, she said. “I just don’t…”

“You don’t what?”, Allison asked gently.

Taylor sighed. “I just don’t want people to think that I’m doing this because of Uncle Mike or his legacy or whatever. I want…”, she trailed off.

Allison smiled. “You want to create your own legacy?”, she asked.

Taylor relaxed a little bit and turned to Allison and smiled. “Exactly”, she said.

Later that night, Allison told Whitney and Hilary about her talk with Taylor. She immediately felt guilty, because poor Whitney looked like she wanted to cry. Hilary was holding back tears herself.

“He’ll be there”, Whitney assured her gently. “He knew how much the two of you wanted this, and I know how much he wanted it for you. He’ll be there in spirit.”

Allison wiped away a tear. She knew that Whitney was right. “Thanks, Whit”, she said.

The next evening, Allison and Taylor were both getting ready for their races. They were getting pep talks from their families and Bob.

Taylor hugged Whitney. “I love you, Mom”, she said. “I miss Uncle Mike so much.”

Whitney held her daughter close. “Me too, kiddo”, she said. “We all love you and we’re all here for you. You’re going to do great tonight.”

Taylor had a rough 200 butterfly, but she won a bronze medal in the 100 butterfly. She took it better than her family expected her to, considering that she had inherited Michael’s competitive perfectionist streak.

“No, I’m actually really happy”, she said grinning broadly, and twirling her medal around, the light catching on it and enhancing its shine. “I mean, I wanted gold, obviously, but it’s my first Olympics ever. I’ll do better in 2024. It’s fine.”

Whitney smiled and wrapped her arm around her daughter. “I love you, honey”, she said. “I’m so proud of you. Uncle Mike would have been proud of you too.”

 

***

Allison’s final race of the 2020 Olympics was the 400 meter freestyle. So far, she was going home with two silver medals and two gold medals. This was the big one. She accepted words of good luck from her teammates, family and friends, and hoped for the best.

As she stepped onto the blocks, she wished more than ever that Michael could be there with her. She was on her own. Everything she had worked so hard for had led up to this moment. She looked up for a moment, closed her eyes, and thought of Michael.

At the start of the race, she took off like a shot, counting her strokes as she went. She was in her own little world. It was just her and the pool.

“Schmitt is below world record pace!”, Rowdy cheered from the press box. “This is incredible. Schmitt is on her way to breaking the record held by Katie Ledecky!”

Up in the stands, The Schmitt and Phelps families watched in awe. Well, the ones that could keep their eyes open watched in awe.

In the end, she won a Gold Medal, and broke Katie’s world record by one one-hundredth of a second. She didn’t even realize it at first until she looked up at the board and saw the “1” next to her name, followed by “WR”.

She punched the water and cheered. Then, she swam under the lane line to hug Katie, who had finished about a second behind her. It was the finish that no one could have predicted. “Congratulations, Allie!”, Katie said cheerfully. “I’m glad it was you. Mike would have wanted this for you.”

Allison grinned. She was glad that her goggles were still on, because her eyes were filling with tears. “Thanks, Katie!”, she replied.

When Allison climbed out of the pool, the media swarmed her. Andrea Kremer interviewed her first. “Allison, how do you feel?”, she asked. “You just broke a world record!”

“It’s kind of overwhelming”, Allison replied. “It’s exciting, but…wow. It took a lot of hard work, but I’m really happy.”

“I’m sure that Michael would have been proud of you if he was here today”, Andrea said. “But what a nice way to honor his memory.”

“Yeah”, Allison said with a smile. “Thanks, Andrea.”

She spoke with a few more reporters, then made her way up through the stands to see her family. She was met with hugs and cheers from the twenty people who had come to support her. She shared a private moment with Debbie who hugged her for a long time. 

“Michael would have been so proud of you, sweetie”, Debbie said. “I know he was looking down on you and smiling tonight.”

Allison began to cry as she hugged Debbie harder. “Yeah”, she said. “This gold medal tonight was for him. Andrea was right. It’s a great way to honor his memory.”

After the closing ceremonies, everyone traveled home. Allison had taken over Michael’s job at Meadowbrook, and some of her swimmers were already talking about 2024.

At the house, Allison had turned the guest room into a trophy room. Most of Michael’s and her medals from past Olympics were packed away, but Allison thought they deserved to be on display. She hung them all in a case, and added her own from Tokyo. Taylor had insisted that her bronze medal be added to the case too, and Allison happily accepted. She thought it was only right that all of the family awards be together.

Allison selected one of her gold medals from Tokyo to stay in the bedroom. She hung it up on a nail next to what had been Michael’s side of the bed. “This one is for you, honey”, she said softly as she admired her own handiwork. “I couldn’t have done this without you, and I still miss you every day.”

She turned out the light in the bedroom, and left for the day. 2024 was less than 4 years away, and there was so much work to be done.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Only In My Dreams](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4173072) by [TacoCat2020](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TacoCat2020/pseuds/TacoCat2020)




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